Dear Die-ry

self-proclaimed

2012-01-27T01:19:00.001+08:00

Heyy! Will be updating soon. I'm still in holiday mood now, as I have self-extended my off days to a whole week! :P Currently busy with the new load of games I picked up and I need to finish like, three novels I borrowed from the library and its due beginning of feb.. :/ tataas! will post on my cny trip soon!

Muses

2012-01-19T21:30:00.006+08:00

Yesterday, le random wild thought appeared in my head that I may be a tad anti-social..

Only until recently when I had to explain a lot of whatever I meant I said then I realized most of the time people were not following my train of thoughts.

And that, of course, can only stem from me not expressing myself enough.

Often than not, I hold conversations and silently rebuke people in my head and somehow my brain convinced itself that I had actually talked a lot. Well, so technically I did socialize.. in my head.

So i asked bf : Am I considered talkative?

He told me: Nope, quite quiet.

Me: But you always tell me I irritate you!

Him: Yeah, you're very noisy in front of me, but you're not that outgoing elsewhere.

Me: What about me compared to *a few girls* then? who's quieter??

He went: They are not considered quiet at all?!

And that got me thinking.

Well, I'll admit I don't feel the need for socializing- that's my explanation to people who have thousands of fb friends and hundreds of twitter followers and are constantly texting/FB-ing/tweeting- and I don't feel like joining lame conversations (which constitutes 90% of all conversations, really, I see no point.)

and small talk..(U mad?)

I honestly wonder how these people do it. I'd start getting worried that i'll get awkward moments not knowing what to say and offending people or all that bullshit if I acted like them. Not that it didn't happen before, because half the conversation was done in my mind. And even if I do get by doing it, I'll prolly start to chide myself for being fake all the time.

I thought I did it once. But I had to pull myself under again. all in a year's work.

But as bf tells me, if you don't conform to society, they will naturally expel you, its a fact of life - I was lamenting on the fact that I couldn't behave/dress/talk as I wished around everybody, and we almost got into an big argument on that. Well okay it happened once.

Oh seriously, why haven't I come to a conclusion(or in the least, acceptance) on why are things like this? I know there's two sides to everything, and there will always be someone who doesn't like what you do/judges you/whatever.

It's real fucked up, especially when you see people being all chatty and social then it makes you wonder, how does it feel?

Knowing that half the faces around you are probably masks and more plastic than barbie?(by plastic i mean fake, not surgery.) No, I do not like it at all.

I know a few individuals that are always surrounded with people, different people everyday in fact, but behind their backs their 'close' friends are always talking and bitching, or simply forgetting about them entirely. I don't know which is worse.

But I don't know whether if its just them being thick skinned and fogging through it all, or they are really that blissfully unaware of the backstabbing going on.

Maybe, maybe its all that paranoia that's leading me on. But well, it didn't turn me into a dumbass foreveralone either.

I get my fair share of haters- minus the friends, and how did that come about? I wonder.

because there will always be few groups of people that despise me for whatever reasons they think.

Oh and wait, maybe it's all in my mind too. Ha!

And then comes the problem about attention. and values, and principles..

I'll start on the attention part.

Well, I reasoned that people who are in ten social circles at once,who spends every waking minute texting or yakking away, feeds on attention. They literally need it, they need to know that they will not be missed if they happen to be abducted by aliens or mandatory turned into a ninja.

Well that's what I generalized, and then I had to go apply it to myself. Ha.

As I said, I'd feel I let myself down if i get all chatty and fake around people, and I might even get disgusted at myself. C'mon, I've seen enough of two-faced people, i'd be letting my conscience down if i turned into one of them too, right? And i can't do it even if i wanted to, I just don't know what to say.

Then, my values, I guess that's the real problem maker, Well, I generally treat people as friends only when we get really close, like constantly talking and knowing the exact shit the other person is thinking.

and the moment the event arises when I have a reason to hesitate dialing his/her number, they are no longer classified under 'friends'. see the stupid bar that's set so high?

And yes, I do have Bffs, for real. All from my secondary school days.

We started out unkindly but circumstances and commitment stuck us together, and they officially breached the wall and passed into my threshold of 'friends forever' -whatever you call that. We went for 7 months without contacting each other at all, but when we did it was like nothing changed at all, time simply didn't put a space between us.

I know this person will be in my life then, no matter what I do or say, no matter what I become,(trust me, I'd been through some funny phases. lol!) and she's the one who I'll never judge, no matter what she does or how bitchy she is.

And the part on circumstances? yes. I find no reason to talk to a person unless circumstances puts us together. And I tend to talk only when the need arises, yeah, that'll make me really outgoing.. NOT.

There was an incident, those few blissful hours where I thought I found a kindred spirit within my poly life. After a year and a half together, after spilling stuff to each other, I thought; yes, I found another one, I can count on her. But it had to go all awry and as circumstances put it, we didn't talk anymore.

Oh, and the circumstances now?

an all-girls class, a protective boyfriend who gives me all the time i want, (Almost. rah!), coupled with the fact I isolated myself to a group of friends in year one and got cut off clean after that? Its all not looking so awesome.

Wow, I can go on forever.. This post was supposed to be a paragraph short, but.. look what we have here!

Gawd. How do i figure this out?!

Tis' frustrating.
But at least there are still cute things in the world to take your mind off things..

♥

2012-01-18T13:26:00.001+08:00

Heyszxc! Gonna update before leaving for school, :/

This is gonna be full of my camwhores, and i'm starting with an overexposed picture.
Well.. remember i mentioned i dyed my hair before drastically snipping half of it off? here's the shot right before i left for the hairdresser's again.. sigh, at least it was long and thick.
okay i shall not start complaining or there'll be no end.. :(

say, they could've at least allowed me to keep the thickness though. -.-

So here you go, pictures one day before leaving for school~

I suppose i should be more hardworking and start wearing contacts, right? :(

but school is almost out.. Two more weeks!

Not that I'd been studying.. It really sucks to sit down and study when 9gag or 4chan is just a tab away. :'(

And I've been looking up on the scene girls I'd stopped following since a few years ago, namely audrey kitching, jac vanek, kiki kannibal etcetc, they grew so much! I'm sure you'll know whose Brookelle Mckenzie at least. They've turned into gorgeous ladies recently.

and dakota rose's kotirose.com isnt there anymore! the new one's kotakoti -I am amazed she took a whole new turn into gyaru style! right on track, me gusta!

alright toodles~

2012-01-18T01:43:00.000+08:00

Perfection.
Its an unattainable state, but what's really deadly about it is that it can kill those who sought after it.
After seeing what they went through, i finally understand that such shiny gems took years of rough polishing and carving. By 'they' i can mean the girls half a planet away, or even right in our country. Those that we stalk because of their good looks/style/personality. Nothing comes without effort, truckloads of effort, consistently.
Unless you're one of those goddamned lucky motherfuckers born flawless and absolutely symmetrical..
Well, its alright, i think your personality sucks and you'll die early anyway to make it up. :)
and then here i am portraying the epitome of a jealous hater. nah, *peace out*

Deep breaths.

2012-01-12T01:30:00.000+08:00

Hi all, brace yourselves! alot of spam today~! Wanted to play Skyrim but.. ah well.

Okay firstly i'll dump pictures which I somehow forgot existed. :X

Triple date(:DDD) that didn't start nor ended well.. I promise we will have a better one soon! :(
On the bus otw to bugis~

If you're thinking wtf? why does she need to post both hands?? Look closely.. they're different!!
..left and right.
OKAY lol i'm kidding.

Watched 'we bought a zoo', seriously had no choices left, haha!

speaking of movies, wong and I'd been watching too many movies! :S
The movie ticket stubs are building up like a block of paper already..

Ada keeps taking pictures of us lol!

Thenn.. steamboat buffet for dinner.

Look how greedy this boy is!!!! No wonder sho squishy!!

I remember yahui whining to her bf : 'I don't like itt~!'

Awkward/ugly smile.. But its the only picture of me and her so I'm putting it up!

Ada had to go back early in the end.. :(

Snacks I hoarded home! :( Why oh why can't i contain my cravings..

eating the salt off pretzels sticks when you get bored of the biscuit, anyone eat it like me?! :X

----

Last day of the year with wong. We decided to go out at the very last minute and reached mere mins before countdown.. Which explains the nice position we were in..

I really do seem to have a knack of taking fireworks with trees blocking me.. Or maybe its just the trees trolling me..

:( okay..

After that, supper at MacDonalds!

---

And now..I know it's a tad too late, but hey! Le me's new year resolution!

I shall now condense them into six points;

1) Start doing everything more/be more proactive; meaning i'll kick that dumb laziness out of the window and accomplish what I've always wanted to do! and by that I include completing my RPG pc and PS2 games.. I bought them like, two years ago!? Final fantasy especially, haven't touched them in a long time!

And I'm lagging way behind, people are all on PS3s since eons ago...

2) I wanna start working on writing a novel.

sorry, big dreams, but I've already got the basics down!

3) Regain my art skills! Time to activate my deviantArt account.. I have been lusting to do fanart of dear Erza for very long.. and just in case you don't know who is she;

you gotta love her toughness..

Alright this is knightwalker but they're exactly the same! She's like, her doppelganger. Gosh go and watch Fairytail!! I was initially attracted only by the anime but right now I'm chasing the manga like a mad hound..

4) Read more books and (here comes) study more! Have to pull my GPA up..

*LOL who am i kidding..

5) Start gymming/exercising for a clearer mind, plus reach my target weight of 40kg! Okay shut up I know I'm not plump or even close, but I've been underweight all my life, and suddenly I'm exactly at the normal range, I need to take a step back!!

*determined*

6) Aaaand lastly.. Save up! I will not touch my savings for the trip to Hongkong, i will built it up instead!

Ok done, there's school tomorrow.. :(

Goodnight!

yes, that's my short hair now..
Trust me, its not as good as it looks, pictures are deceiving. especially pictures with severe blurring effects.. go figure.

2012-01-10T21:52:00.003+08:00

Gonna complete this arcania gothic 4 thoroughly and move on already! :(

I love how he can carry a small army's worth of items and run as fast as ever.. unrealistic much, haha!

some snapshots for keepsakes..

Hey Mr demon lord.

Caves near the monastery~

Tooshoo swamp hut!

In black water/ too shoo! Awesome tree, not so awesome to explore though.

Pink and blue sunset! spot le dragon remains!

defeated zombies strewn about- everything went better than expected. ;P

cliffs near the monastery.

lurker's pond.

Lightning+attack of the zombies LOL. at that precise moment le wild rain appeared.

Y U NO hide at better places!? I'd died at least 20 times dropping(sliding) into the ocean! >:/

Errr.. Just the view.

Okay dropping this beginner game and off to skyrim!! booyah!

*too much 9gag affecting my way of typing. :D / D:?

I got loadsa pictures, will update tmr or when i get my soul back.. :(

2012-01-07T23:07:00.000+08:00

I wanna live in a cottage down the countryside, with white picket fences around it and brown wooden fences down the lanes.

it must be somewhere not too near, but not too far from civilization. maybe down a secret turn in the road on the street.

it will be on the edge of the woods, covered in moss, with a spring bubbling nearby, the air will be fresh and rejuvenating.

i'll explore the woods when the weather is right. tie a string to a tree, and off i'll go!

i'll find hollow thrunks to make tree houses and secret caves where i'll find nests of mice, lizards and birds.

i'll keep a backyard, so that i can plant my own food, and tend the garden when i like it.

i'll keep a few chicken and geese loitering around, those wild rabbits,squirrels, hedgehogs, foxes and little birds will come and play.

i'll plant flowers in many different shapes, make paths lined with pebbles, make a tiny pond, and keep delightfully colorful fishes in it,and maybe even a few ducks if they'll stay!

i'll put garden gnomes everywhere,they'll come alive at night, they might even help me weed the garden.

i'll have a well in the back, where the water will be fresh and life-giving.

i'll take seasons, i'll have a simple wardrobe of mixed clothing, from thick woollen jackets and knee-high boots to spag tops and daisy dukes. i wont have to worry about fashion and all the crap corrupting everyone's minds.

oh! and infront of the house, near the wooden fences, is an endless stretch of meadow, when spring comes there'll be millions of flowers and glorious green knee high grass, i'll be frolicking in the meadow, in the sun all day, watch the sunset on a hill nearby. get freckles and sunburns. get rosy pink cheeks, freckles and sun-streaked hair.

i'll sleep on a straw mat, with hay for my blanket, my furniture will be all wooden, i'll even build some myself!

and oh! how could i have forgotten about the ponies! i'll have ponies in my makeshift stable, i'll have a makeshift wooden shed too! i'll keep my gardening tools and trinkets in it.

I'll have a clay oven, where i'll bake wonderful pastries and my favorite breads.

I'll make bird nests out of sticks, and hope little birds come live in it. I'll make friends with them, and feed them whenever I can.

in the winter the woods will turn white and the tress turn bare, in the autumn the whole forest turns yellow and red, i'll take so many pictures of everything, when the hills are dotted with colors of heather flowers, when baby rabbits pay a visit to my garden, i'll keep them year after year, and show them to everyone if they want to see.

i'll sneak upon the fairies when their doors open at twelve, maybe they'll grant me a wish! and they'll show me their wonderful little houses, hand me little fairy treats.

at night, there'll be millions of stars!i could take a straw mat out into the heather meadow or up a hill, lie there and gaze till there's only the universe and my eyes.

I'll spot all the constellations and catch falling stars in my hands.

and all without a care in the world.

#littledreams

USS

2012-01-07T17:10:00.000+08:00

Updating about random stuff that happened in uss two weeks ago.

as usual..

my birthday, with tastefully large sheets of rain cascading from the sky from afternoon on.

thank god we reached a little earlier, so we managed to capture some pictures in which everything was not drenched and my makeup washed off entirely. :/

This is so magical to me, somehow.

a surprise ticket! torn between chiding him for wasting money and being touched he'd do so. haha!

surprise, surprise. queues for everything, even for taking pictures~

'nuffin' much, just stomping by.'

this is quite nice! we experienced a hurricane in a boathouse, boats falling, stuff on fire and everything.

lucky we were in the second row, could already feel the blazing heat and got splashed by pretty much water already.

and speaking of hurricanes? talk about irony, because that's what we got caught in the next thing we did.

(hurricane= roller coaster+super big rain? )

first ride was okay, just drizzling, the second one was horrible, the rain picked up as we went for it. visibility nil, felt like i was in the washer haha!

My terribly smudged makeup, wiped it off when we went to the toilet.. rah!

Had to buy ponchos but a tad too late. the next three hours saw us taking rides with drenched clothes and hair. :((

Gawd I spent around 20mins untangling my hair, lol!

after eating at Madagascar- we dragged for two hours, went to take queue for transformers another two hours. it was still pouring, so depressing. :(

still drenched~ and wong was barefoot

Transformer 3D specs! the ride was.. not worth the queue time. :(

when we finally left the building, it had stopped raining!

so we went for our third roller coaster ride- i begged wong to go for it. :X

I love rollercoasters hehe!

revenge of the mummy was the best. an animated roller coaster ride in the dark, awesome or what!

and yeah the skies are clear, we can finally take pictures!

My froggy prince! did i mention my favourite character is frogs? I love frogs be it kerropi or any random ones! I have loads of frog-related stuff at home, haha!

magical night, prolly my favourite picture of that day. i love how this little walkway looks!

ending my once-in a lifetime experience with fireworks

It began the moment we got close enough to glimpse it. After our Shrek 4D, :/

most of it's hidden behind the tree but oh well.

Indescribable feelings always tear me up whenever I witness fireworks, I don't know why either, ha!

updating about the current stuff, My hair's shoulder-length now. :/ pictures next time, definitely.

adios~

Birthdays, new years and bad perms.

2012-01-03T23:00:00.000+08:00

Not in the mood to blog much, but these were already up here.
pictures from 22dec, the day we went to bugis and where i got my surprise birthday party~

gong cha for us three,

extensions~

yahui photobombing us!

took a cab in the evening to the condo where ada was supposed to 'meet' her friend.

that's her returning from it lol,

feel so dumb why i didnt ask what item was it!

Posting this just because i look taller~
they like to say i am shorter than them! :/
then we walked to the rooftop, omg yahui's lousy excuse was she wanted to see handsome guys and i believed.

when i realized everyone was up there!

first picture with wong~
the lollipop's from his mum, the bouquet from his sis!

Evelyn! wong's elder sister! the flowers below were all made by her, like Wow right!

There comes my cake~ with a rather awkward song that died two-thirds along its way hahaha!

Us cutting the cake~!
Then a family photo- his family! his brother's not here omg.

my bff forever forevers. ♥

And someone who said he'll stick with me even if i go bald! haha! watch your sweet words boy, poisonous!

wong's mum shoving the strawberry into saiful's mouth!

Kinda forgot how it started. :X

Those who made it down! thank you! :)))

upon reaching home I stuck them unto the window grilles, :P
-
The next night, 23/12 aka my official birthday. (upon my arrival home from a day at uss which will be posted next.)
Gorgeous birthday cake!

And a super yummy one i might add.
pictures with family and relatives~

They smeared cream on my face lol. here's my resigned look after the unsuccessful attempts to avoid it.

Wong's unique birthday present! :D so cute, a potential 10k in my hands haha!
well of course it didnt come up but there was some hope for a few hours at least. :S

The lollipop! yes i licked it into this shape.
okay end for this first i guess.

I shall officially start my ranting shan't i?

Well a few moons ago i dyed my hair at my mum's favorite salon, turned out they bleached it without telling me, even when i told them firmly i didn't want bleaching. Why? My hair is naturally dry and bleaching it will only kill it. there wasn't any doubt they would bleach it secretly, come on, they would've charged me extra right?! or so i thought.

And it took a bunch of trusty professionals from THREE different salons to break the unfortunate news to me. well all i wanted to do was ask so i didn't hesitate to walk into toni and guy too. well actually its not that horrible, it just made me drop monster-like strands of hair, according to my mum.( half gold half black concoction, geddit?)

And so, went back to confront them on my next visit, of course I had to make the color evened out right? I went there with my mother, having no balls to face them alone- did i use the word confront? Massive overstatement.. K I was dumb enough to go back there. Deserve a kick right there too.

Here's a summary of our convo; asked my mum's favorite woman who always does our hair, 'hi, look at this color, you think it's been bleached before? I am sure the last time I came I told you not to bleach my hair'
she took a look at it, said 'oh it would have been impossible to get this color without bleaching! this color is too light!' and you know what, it totally doesn't help that whatever color they do for you, its never ever never the exact one you pointed out to them. so okay, point dropped, no point arguing. I was already on my 'whatever-just-get-things-straight-now mode.

Having cleared things up(whatever) I told them to dye just anything to make things even, black is fine too, but well my mum thinks black is harsh and suggested the darkest brown, state 60 bucks with treatment included, their standard stuff. So okay fine go do it already. Mum left, mission accomplished and headed home.
Person dyed my hair, everything going fine till she led me to the wash basin to wash my hair. Me lying immobilized in front of her, my hair at her mercy, that's when she dropped the bomb, oh she started out nice
-You wanna do treatment? we have the basic hair mask. but your hair's quite dry so you may need something better.
So i was like Erm okay? what about the revolving one you did for me last time?
she went; Oh that? you need to add thirty bucks, we have one called ampule, that costs 12 dollars only.
I said, Is it better than the hair mask?
her; Definitely!
me*confused*; Okay then... since its better right.
so she came over and broke a little capsule of something and spread it in my hair.
note that i'm still lying down, and then the smell spread and i detected something familiar- i used that last time too! included in the bloody 60 dollars. so okay 72 dollars, so be it.
back in the seat- i held the expectation of doing the hair mask the whole time she was blow-drying my hair, but now she's telling me i'm ready to go. I was so put off i paid and left. went home, complained for abit to my mum about her(she told me lets not go back again then) and managed to convince myself its not that bad, i may still save it with loadsa conditioner. Hey, i didn't even blog a rant or anything.

it finally turned healthy and soft in a month anyway, as seen in all my recent pictures.

Okay now fast forward to a week ago, cousin and i planned to perm out hair before the new year, i'd been contemplating a mermaid curl since months ago and even told a shop we'll come for it soon. so well, date was set and ready to go. Mum came in, told us to go to her shop, convinced my cousin to her side, so I argued she treated my hair like that already and I don't wanna go back. My mum simply used social psychology(you don't want do with us you go do yourself la! *in an angry tone*) and lured me over too, well i thought its the three of us now she can't possibly mess up. haha! I can't even..
Okay we went yesterday, and yeah pictures are self explanatory.
what my cousin wanted:

what my mum wanted

what i wanted.

so clear? three of us sat in the chair, preparatory work done and now she started putting curlers into our hair. which was fine until i realized all the curlers were the same and she was putting it into our hair the same way! and you know the rule, same curler size + same curling style = same hair! well except for mine, mine's longer. But you get the idea. yeah and predictably this was the result in the end;

you wanna know whats the yellow halo doing on my head? Its the touch-up they did, no surprise they touched up at least 5 shades lighter than its supposed to be. argh. they can screw my new hair too, really praise-worthy.
the condition of hair's downhill respectively, from 8/10 to 7/10 to -10/10. no seriously. my hair's damaged beyond repair, it looks like grossly overgrown+badly dyed pubic hair and the person knows it. she was struggling with the curler on one side which obstinately refused to start heating up and let the rest burn for very long. and they resorted to using a hair dryer to cool them down. oh i forgot to mention that in the proper confrontation that ensued thereafter.
omg so lazy to elaborate, i'm running out of fuel haha, well the summary is that they didn't admit they spoil it and insisted i pryed it apart and asked up to go home and see if after washing it will it be better.
Well, this is the next day and i'm saying a huge NO.

Good lord i lugged myself to school and walked in public and even went to the library! a classmate told me that my hair's a disaster and that she wouldn't go to school if she were me. So i'm so brave for attending half a day- granted, its not good- of class and surviving the countless times i encountered a mirror right!? this is what i see;

smiling just to not look like a sore and sulky bitch. rah!
trust me, it feels 100000 times worse, like those barbie dolls with irreversibly fucked up hair. at least the hair strength is there, know what i feel? when i comb it there are absolutely no tangles, (haha) because the hair simply breaks, the bottom part- thank god. I'll lose all that hair due to breakage in a month if i don't cut it anyway. Get the extent of damage now? damn and they still dare to not say a word about it..

Mum called the person, and the lady boss talked to her, knowing about the condition since yesterday just that she didnt speak up. verdict is imma snip my length into half or more and layer it. wait for it to grow, and cut again.
I'm screaming inside why not just shave me bald, my halo's a horrible sight too, i'd rather don a wig everyday than face this shit. But what's done is done, i kept telling myself i'm suffereing from grief not anger, at the loss and not raging at the person who caused it- which is no one in particular.
I should've followed my instinct, I wanted to get out of perming my hair the day before doing it, but i already promised and my cousin didnt fail to remind me everytime she saw me to not back out of it. So here am i now. Facing potential mauling to my hair and telling myself a dead person can't be revived, all the while watching torture victims whose fml is 1489237847 times worse..

And thanks to ???(gosh i dont even have a person to blame), I have to watch documentaries of African kids dying of hunger and videos of kfc chicken being brutally slaughtered to console myself that life's not bad afterall.
Now my desktop wall paper changed from

which is a unrealistically beautified version of what i'm gonna get tomorrow, this may even be longer. fml enough? oh kumiky.. thank you for having shorter hair too, else it'll be heart wrenching to look at you..
-
K, you'll be scoffing at me or whatever, cause you dont know how it feels. Everyone around me just tells me that they understand, but its already over, so just cut it all off, lucky your hair grows fast and it'll be back very fast!
But hey even if you grow it at the fastest speed it'll still take years godammit years ahhhh!
okay

Gawd now i realize what i had after i lost it.
byebye, my once beautiful hair.

2011-12-29T01:30:00.000+08:00

Hello! blogging at this unearthly timing again!

i'm extremely behind ohmygosh. these are from about two weeks ago!

And to think i haven't even updated about my birthday celebration and the trip to uss! :(

Last day of school camwhores below.. haha!

I love shimmery nails. ♥
Then on the 19th, had a failed photoshoot woth branca,
I simply couldn't continue and quit halfway, :X
but look what she got for me- an early birthday present!

She couldn't have got me anything better!! skincare- my fav brand somemore, teehee!

so good you see, i didnt even get her anything for her birthday omg.

I woke up around 2pm and look what they got me for breakfast.. tsk!

Hahaha jk i love roasted stuff so much! :X

after that for lunch..

Japanese food! -with bf, on a friday i think..

Looking at this makes me crave for the food already.. esp the chawanmushi!

..need to convince wong to bring me there again, wheee!

green tea~

after the food, went shopping but only bought nail polish, again.

its become a habit, i'm addicted!! :O

Testing loots on my cousin!

Chewy junior's! bought it home for dinner! :P
ate one and left the rest in the fridge to rot.. :( what a waste.

This one's not as shimmery but still gorgeous with top coat!

and guess what, its still not my current colour!! hahaha!

alright bye! I need to start posting more stuff other than my camwhores and food, :/

2011-12-24T02:57:00.006+08:00

Helloooo!
Random updateszcx!
starting with.. loots!

Then the trip i said i'd post on! to botanic gardens with wong!

Had paddy's!

Hello you beautiful, graceful creature

like a haven, so serene.

♥

Saw this old couple, sitting on the bench just watching the world go by, in each other's company of course. :)

mexican-designed christmas tree!

I love this huge poodle so uber much i'm putting it up though my face's horrid okay!! I wish i can hug him to sleep omygosh.. so fluffy!

This.

Ending with the entrance pic, haha!

okay that day lapsed into walking to orchard from holland and having botak jones! :D

Hungry.. :(
anyway, went to uss today, will put some pictures up soon~
and my 18th birthday surprise. ♥ i love my boyfriend. I'm certain of it now its been over a year plus. ;)
kthxbai.

2011-12-18T14:11:00.000+08:00

Gosh. just read through my previous posts. its like i changed into some self-absorbed dimwit in comparism lol!
during then was the times i private-d my blog, for not very noble reasons.
but oh, when will i be able to come clean about things..?
maybe after i graduate. i'll have no choice but to finally let go then.
right back then were the times i blogged for the sole purpose of sharing my thoughts, and recording down what was going on in my life, albeit in riddles.
but of course i hid it well. sometimes i don't even know now what exactly i was yakking on about too.
I got thwarted, by myself i suppose, fell into a pothole in the road, don't know where this is going anymore.
Had a future- for a few years at least. had some goal to work towards, a very clear and deliciously challenging one.
then, this turn into the dark alleyway, perhaps i took the wheel by myself, but i stopped and made myself stagnant, doing what i could to survive.
And then dawn broke and i could see in light what's here, recognizing my surroundings for the first time. was still working it out, thought i'd figured it all out.
Simply surviving, breathing, holding up a facade on whats going on, deceiving everyone who could see.
oh, maybe i am just so content, that i'm using something to try to explain it to myself, it's just so human to do so, isn't it?
I don't know, this feels like nothing, too much of nothing that its like hanging in thin air, in space, very empty space.
Guess it can be said i'm thinking too much, because contentment is really too hard to behold, and then imma dismiss it all by telling you to just ignore my mindless musings. haha!
after all, who are the few people that can really say 'I'm happy here'..?
the grass will always be greener on the other side.

2011-12-17T15:40:00.001+08:00

Hola!

This post is a jumble of stuff over these two weeks! I do procrastinate this much..

Another post on botanic gardens will be done soon. :S and that was like one week ago fml.

My nail colour from I don't know when, haha! okay maybe ten days ago?
and i insist on sharing my cheese omelette! I cook it for breakfast whenever i can.
no i don't do sandwiches, sorry. >:/

its so uber yummy i gonna open a store someday and get a big business with it..! *dreams*

no honestly if I gonna end up being rejected from every single respectable job applied for I will open an omelette stall! alongside to wong's 'secret' store! LOL.

not gonna say what it is in case someone steals the idea! >:/

Texas chicken!! love love love it max. I would eat it five days in a row for breakfast lunch and dinner if only i wouldn't fall sick! rah!

i-dont-know-what-its-called-but-its-super-nice from japan! Singapore don't sell it.. do they?

*pops one totally unrelated picture. you're welcome!
-
dinner at night!

Kfc! three drumsticks for me, heh!

dinner after the texas chicken. not so nice in comparism, hmph!

then.. omelette again! *intense love for omelettes*

Will you just look at the oozy cheese!? nope not gonna share~

Then some random camwhores.. before school i guess..

My makeup has this habit of turning more horrible as the day progresses..

okay and don't freak out,

three days ago my sis saw a yellow dot on the wall, she thought it was one of my cousin's rhinestones because my cousin was bling-ing something on our dining table.

I was sitting nearby playing my game (as usual) and glanced up,

i told my sis it was a beetle, and a pretty weird one at that, she proceeded to catch it using a container meant for food, LOL!

This it what it looks like!

Didn't pay much attention when she caught it, just faintly remembered her messing around with the container in the corner.

Then for two days i went on my business completely forgetting about its existence.

And yesterday, i noticed the container in our room, and the insect inside, my sis told me it hadn't eaten for three days(LOL) and that it dosen't seem to be a beetle.

I looked at it closely, and know what? Its a ladybug!!

I havent seen one in ages, since like, my childhood days? I remember catching and playing with loads of them when i explored the jungle behind my grandfather's mansion in malaysia. those were the days.. :(

okay back, so we decided in the middle of the night to make a tiny garden for it!

and this is what it turned out-

went downstairs and dug up some soil and weeds. :X

Hammie making friends with the ladybug!!

The reason why we made a tiny garden for it was because my sis searched online and said that ladybugs eat any type of plants.

But when we got back all it did was to explore all of the plants by climbing all of them one by one..

so i asked my sis- you sure it eats leaves or not!

And then went to search for it myself..

and guess what? mr/mrs ladybug eats smaller insects that it- something called aphids.

but on a side note it can eat moistened raisins and non-acidic fruits!

so we gave it a tiny piece of apple.

sure enough, it started eating it!
i think we starved it for almost four days LOL!
--
okay, i guess i have been mentioning my game alot, and here are some screenshots!
sorry for the dull colours, i was in a cave! and a super foggy one at that. :/

This game is pretty fun, for me at least.

I go around collecting herbs, completing quests, and killing goblins, orcs, bloodflys, swampsharks, lurkers etcetc. damn, theres a damn difficult troll, i could run past it but I would be cheating, so I died so many times just to get rid of it, lol!

and no everythin in this game is static, so i cant level up by killin other things and then come back. sadly. :(

almost died and you give me 750 exp! grrr!

I dont know what the heck are these, looked damn creepy though.

Spent almost 60 hours on this game already, lol! but its nice enough!

I'm kinda afraid i'm spoiling my lappy by playing it cause everytime it runs the top left side of my lappy feels like its melting. :(

That's all, bye! Going to bugis with wong! ♥

2011-12-12T10:30:00.000+08:00

OHAI!

Quick update before i bathe.. huhuhuu

Okay just returned home from the library, managed to complete a 400 page novel in two hours,

was positively freezing in the library man..

I also kind-heartedly/foolishly gave two dollars away to a man who claimed he had no money to eat or take a bus.. :( was I conned? I was considering 5 dollars but decided to provide him with transport money only..

i am not completely dumb okay! i asked where the hell was his family, he said he was a lone man, got divorced, but on the way to his aunt's house.. there should be food there right...?

and anyway school today sucked, my UT was pretty much a goner. My grades for UT1 was 2 As and a C+, plus two Xs, lol! the C+ was a shock, haha!

but this time round i wouldn't be surprised my grades will drop.. :(

the damned essay question, 400-500 words and i submitted only 260! fml!

but whatever.. its all behind me now, the holidays are what's ahead! wheeeeee!

Camwhores below.. and bye!!

These are pretty much the last few pics of me with bangs, decided to let them grow already!

I hope it turns out nice..

2011-12-09T14:43:00.000+08:00

Morningg! Omg decided to skip school.. again.
i stopped short of the door and decided not to go..
arhh i even put eyeshadow today!

plus i only went for school two days this week and my grades suck! :(

sometimes idk what the hell i am doing.. I just give excuses to myself,

well today's excuse is 'i need to play game and i want to go christmas shopping.'

haha god knows when did i ever celebrate christmas..
okay camwhores below! and i'm off to my gaming! ^0^

well i'll update abit more soon~ cya!

...

2011-12-04T12:59:00.001+08:00

Camwhores! before I start my ranting. I need to calm myself first, so i'll make a post of super outdated pics from last saturday. :X

Oh! and looking at this stupid expression reminded me of how i felt when i discovered what google maps could do.
For starters, damn, i knew singapore was small, but that small?
I bet no one knew you can't even see it on the map! Nope, its not a tiny dot, it dosen't even exist okay!
my primary school teacher was completely wrong, she once made a joke that singapore is so small that you place a finger on the map and you cannot see it already, I now realize a pin would be sufficient. The teeny hole the needle makes is enough to contain singapore.
gosh it blew my mind. because the wide expanse of the rest of the world suddenly came into proportion in my mind! imagine the people you will never know, places you will never be able to finish visiting even in ten lifetimes.
then think of how tiny the earth is compared to the rest of the universe.. okay i am getting overboard.
But seriously, I am very sure none of you knew that! *adamant*
okay other than that suaku discovery i made, I accidentally stumbled on something i didnt thought was possible.
did you know that you can virtually visit places in most of the world? I clicked into the smallest available size, and it brought me into street view. you can bloody see the buildings and people and cars even! gosh!
I saw the rob's butcher and jean's video rentals and all those crazy things!
i spent half an hour visiting Hawaii hahaha! they are so cute, sitting in the middle of nowhere.
I tried looking in las vegas too haha! go take a look!!
okay abrupt end.
i'll continue with my camwhores~

What i was wearing~ a little too big in size, but well it was the last one available.. :(
haha this sentence is so weird after what i said previously.

Bye~! Imma go gaming, its my alcohol for now.
family problems. not your humdrum type either. i'll update soon~

sleepy

2011-11-30T23:18:00.001+08:00

Harrow~ I am so tired right now. gonna update a little! fyi that's my orange blusher. it turned out weird in pictures!

Okay work finally ended, and they said by friday we'll get to collect the pay! its not much though..

but it'll help, for i already owe myself close to 100 bucks.

I wanna buy a pimple gel from shisheido, but freaking found out that it costs $50 today, wtf!!! they think they fill the tiny bottle with pure gold is it!?

I havent been using masks recently, and have been putting on make up everyday for the past weeks already,

coupled with the monthly bleeding, my face is in havoc mode.

gosh it needs a rest! no wonder they're in this condition right now.

at least i don't go to school with alot of stuff on my skin.. else my face wouldve been real rotten by now!

Okay tis is retarded but im sharing what i snacked on a few days ago, haha! I love the bobdog ciggys to the max! and the fishy thing is something i found after so many tries.. why is it slowly disappearing from the market alreadyyy!?

And two days ago, I had this episode of pinched nerve or someting that made me lose sleep. damn!

i tossed and turned in bed, trying to relieve the pain and ache in my whole arm and my shoulder the whole time.

seriously, i watched the sun rise for the third time of my life man! hahah!

Omg.. my eyes are gonna shut totally.. i've been dizzy, weak and stuff you know why.
i wanna play my game, but i really cannot tank alr, goodnight!

2011-11-28T01:06:00.000+08:00

Work has endeddddd! I'm free to take on anything now omgeez. but right now i'm still getting hold of my bearings. Have to catch up in school too teehee!

will update with pictures real soon~

blubbbber

2011-11-23T01:03:00.001+08:00

Hiya! I'm back!

updating on these few days..

except for work.. I've recently been gaming! this game called arcania.

My mum bought it for 30+, it was an exchange for a new psp game which wasn't working because my bro's psp is altered. okay long story.

but the end of it saw a grumpy and sad brother and me with a gratuitous game.

Next, food! from over the days!

hehe! this is ljs, for breakfast a few days ago..

Then dinner with wong! texas chicken!

I forgot i heard from who that it was really shitty, but both times i tried its uber yummy!

even the honey butter biscuits win popeye's!

Been skipping school again.. my motivation really burns out fast omygosh.

I need to find work too.. how..?! the current one ends end of this month~

...

this is my current nail colour, I went for pastel tones again, but abit kiddish right!

I don't put bottom lashes! only mascara, people'd been asking..

Then.. I gonna rant on my new favourite fooood!!

Its all from meiji! My cousin bought these back for us, and the biggest packet has always been my favourite since I was introduced to it, but this time round there's this m&m-like chocolate, the filling is strawberry chocolate!!! omg it is so nice we finished it first.

Too bad they don't seem to sell it individually..

The super yummy one! see the purple crystals? It fizzles and pops in your mouth like those sweets we ate when we were young! Getting some lodged in your throat will actually hurt because of the popping.. :S

Then wrapping it is cotton candy!! super creative right! when I crave for cotton candy and sweets and something sour its the perfect snack.. *dreamy*

Too bad they only sell it in one flavor- grape.. :(

work tmr, cant believe i gonna skip UT for it.. :'(
Okay nothing else~ byeeee!

2011-11-18T00:50:00.001+08:00

Oh hai! I've been wearing lenses recently!

Okay they arent exactly comfortable so i've been trying to get used to it.

gosh the colour and design makes my eyes look like lady gaga's from bad romance, digitally enlarged and extremely fake. :(

Its like i used a brown marker to colour my whole pupil and left it there!

Anyway wong says my pupils look darker with the brown lenses. fml haha!

okay below is the yummy pizza from empire state, we had it before watching 2359, urgh the movie is totally not nice! I'd rather watch you are the apple of my eye but too bad the seats were all sold out at that time. :(

Looks super yummy right! It is! lol!

Without lenses! I think i look more normal. But with teeny pupils. :/

Since five days ago i changed my style of makeup, I think it looks better because its more jap, but my falsies are so thin. which reminds me of my thin hair.. :'(

I am so sad, i need to perm my hair asap! I made enquiries about the cost and it ranges from 90+ to 200+, omg why so much!? The display on the outside always shows 30+ and inside it becomes more than three times, the hair dresser told me my hair is pretty thin but for my hair length its charged at that.

It wouldn't be a problem if i were working on my previous job but now it is.. I don't wanna touch my savings.

And thus its not coming anytime soon~ which is just as well since i rebonded my hair like seven months ago..

My sister and I. I dont get it, so many people say we look like twins!

This was taken when we went out with our family to cwp, I think it was a sunday?

Then went to town to fetch wong after work!

we ate fried mars bars with ice cream that day. gosh, im not big fan of caramel but the mars bars really are awesome!! Im craving for it again. :( Its officially classified under one of my 'favourite food' list now!

I told wong we were watching movies too much and too often, but there isnt really too many things to do already. :/

he's been gyming recently because hes getting round. hehehe! I am gonna accompany him sometimes, just to lose some weight! I want a flat tummy, mine looks so bloated now i don't know why!

Okay Im right now in class bored half to death because i want to partial and wong doesn't want to.. which is justifiable because he has UT later on, but well..

I submitted my psychology essay yesterday, seriously crammed it all in a few hours, we were given weeks to do it. I need to change this habit lol. but now its a big load off my back.

Okay i guess there's nothing else.

ending with another fakish picture~

Bye!

Jumble

2011-11-14T22:44:00.001+08:00

I am thinking of getting permed hair like this.. should i should i!?!?

okay maybe a little more bigger in waves, but its roughly this style!

sigh too bad my hair is so thin.. seriously I'm dropping it 5 times faster than I'm growing it back.. :(

gosh today everyone was commenting on how little hair i had! classmates, family, even a random stranger idk wtf was he doing.

am i really turning bald fml!?

anyway permed hair'll increase the volume so there.

being stressed will make me drop even more, its such a vicious cycle!

on a side note, I'm gonna share some random stuff~

This ring is the perfect wedding ring, or so they say, because the longer you wear it, the more permanent the mark will be on your finger. it symbolizes everlasting love and all that cliche stuff~

gosh its so creative ain't it!?

I'm definitely gonna get something like that, mark my words. unless something even more interesting pops up, that is. something like bone a engraving ring.. bring it to the grave hahaha! but ouch.

found this pic randomly, I seriously don't know why i take pictures and don't upload it.

I just keep the whole bunch of them in my laptop, for future reference. NOT.

lol, these were from almost three months back! in the prior pic we were at hard rock cafe! 21.90 for a normal set of chicken rice and we decided to share food in the end hahaha!!

The one below was taken on the way there..

I tried smelling a bottle of shampoo and pressed it, it shot some on my nose..( rahh! how am i supposed to articulate this without it sounding all sex-related you tell me!?)

My caring, loving boyfriend of course declined getting me a tissue asap, waited till he laughed his share and snapped a picture of me before letting me wipe my nose clean.

Okay I now realize how horrific my fringe was. omg.

anw i just posted an album of me and grace from last year..

so many memories.. I've on more than one occasion wondered how things would be like if i didn't fracture my wrist and changed my mind about things, where would i be now? Probably having the time of my life, probably achieving much more then i did.

But i must admit I cannot and will never have the best of both worlds. okay who does? lol

time i let go and stop hurting. but i say this too often too, time i start meaning it, ha.

goodnight all.

There's some things you can't speak of, but at night you live it all again

you wouldn't be shattered on the floor now, if only you had seen what you know now then

- innocent, taylor swift

2011-11-11T01:12:00.001+08:00

I'm backk! Im down with this weird flu that keeps coming back.

I am on the brink of cutting off my nose.. ughhh!

nevertheless, I shall catch up on the overdue post now!

Well i worked on the 5th and 6th. I have serious complains about footwear.

Here's the picture btw. We literally strut around town to get as much attention as possible..

yeah. and got attention we did. I wouldnt have signed up for this job if i knew beforehand about the short working hours and the amount of days! 4 days a month, they are really kidding..

Not to mention the jobscope required black heels.

God damn those shoes from hell, they literally injured my leg! Inside out!

For work on saturday, I wore that brand new pair of heels i bought specially for work,

and it rendered my right toe numb and gave me about 5 blisters on each foot. No i am not exaggerating.

My left leg literally bled at the back and it was a horrible sight.

But whats more ludicrous was when i bathed that night!

The moment the water touched my feet I was paralyzed waist down. Its like stepping into fire barefoot and for some reason forgetting to take it out.. uh. I'd personally prefer fracturing my wrist again..
Okay, not. But anyway.

The next day was slightly better, i wore my old pair of heels, but my toe was still not back to earth and my leg muscles were already injured. So it augmented my poor legs' state of injury..

by the end of that day I was still incapable of walking properly even in flats. -.-

So now six days have passed since the last day i wore them, I must admit my leg's better and the lesions have all formed scabs, but my toe's still unfeeling! :(((((

Yeah this is what i wear for work.. :/

And when the first day ended I was so ravenous I wolfed down a filet-o-fish and a mcspicy!!

If you were wondering why there are two small fries and a coffee, its because everything here was exchanged using coupons. :X

the result of our attempts at procuring the car. HAHA kidding. but we did eat quite often.

OH! and before i forget!

We had korean bbq on the 4th, with the usuals, :P

Headed down to frolick at cine afterwards! note our super oily hair and although you cant smell it we were stinking heavily of bacon and stuff. okay i said that because that was what i liked most! -and ate the most, i might add..

Finally painted my nails!! okay the current one I have is not this anymore, but this colour shows up so nicely in pictures right?! :P

The one i have now resembles dino eggs from neopets. idk why!! :X

Okay done!

p.s today's 11/11/11 and its not Armageddon nor did the apocalypse descend on us, so do stop yabbering about it!?

12/23/1993 12:35:11 pm was also once in a lifetime bitches. xoxo

2011-11-10T01:14:00.000+08:00

November's here, its the tenth today! Time really does fly doesn't it!

Well for me it suddenly shrunk, the days pass like hours now, and I've no goal, no motivation whatsoever.

Wth is going on!? I find myself reminiscing the past more than ever these days.

Those childhood days where there wasn't all these first world shit.

Gosh, maybe i'll do better in a jc, I wouldn't have to face all this crap as much.

Planning to use this weekend to catch up with everything.

slow in everything, school assignments, self-maintenance, you name it. no work somemore!

.. okay time to take some action huh! I'll kick my cloud of laziness away soon!!

starting my uber overdue post, starting from 1/11!

skipped school, that module is really down the drain i tell you, we skipped 3/5 days of lessons, partialled once!

Went ktv, four whole hours of ktv for two proved to be too much that day, and we took up lounging around, okay i was shouting into the mic randomly and he was playing with my hair, trying out braids.

Did i tell you i was training him to be my hairdresser?

HAHA kidding! but he really did a super good job right!

Our super shag but still trying face. :P
No his sexual orientation is still pretty straight, which make him even more awesomeeee! hehe! :D

Lookie he's trying something new!

K.This one was a blatant fail.. haha! his first try at tying scorpion!

Pulled out quite alot of my hair for good measure too. :/ !

After that, went for lunch, then the movie In Time and then dinner!!

Okay the movie was damn cool, i couldn't find enough closure though..

We bought popcorn and managed to polish everything off, haha!

gosh i realised we'd been watching movies way too much and often..

this was the dinner! okay we had Manhattan's for lunch or sth then popcorn so dinner was measly.

Okay that's it for the moment! school tmr. sigh. night! :S

2011-11-07T15:45:00.001+08:00

OHAI!

I have been so busy omg.. will update in the next post, but last week's pics firsrt!!

These are from like oct!?!? haha!

Before heading out.

These were from monday, went to newton's for food with bf, ena, zann, danson, ethan after chilling at frolick! zann left before we went to newton's though.

Yummy eh!

In the car otw for food~

I took 5 pictures with him, and 4 out of 5 his eyes were closed.. whyyyy! :(

Nevertheless, I'm still posting it up~

Okay i kinda forgot what else we were doing that day, kthxbye!

2011-10-30T14:17:00.003+08:00

Some gratuitous photos of myself! LOL.

okay sorry, I havent taken pictures of anything else these days so bear with me.

Food's been fast food as usual, had popeyes' yesterday! stuffed ourselves so full..

I'm going out to town later, its so boring staying at home all holed up in the room..

but going out makes my $$$ fly too fast.. :S

All these were taken before I leave the house, when I still have spare time lol.

Time's been zipping by recently, I'm going through the days in a daze!

Been reading quite often too.. :P

And i just realised i look the same in all pictures manxzcs.

I need a change of hairstyle. should i go perm my hairrrr? or dye it red again? hmm!

I'm off! haha! going shopping! :D

2011-10-26T23:43:00.002+08:00

Ohai! I'm updating again! I realised there's nothing much to update since I was not taking pictures..

hmm.. life's been.. scary.

I dont like school.. seriously dont feel like going every single day.. :(

being laden with work even though its so little, it seriously sucks..

But thanks to wong who had been forcing me to school everyday, i managed to not skip some days.. LOL.

but that didnt stop me from partialling and not doing my RJ! :X

I better buck up.. :S

Okay back to the sprinkle of photos, over this week!

This is my jawbreaker, its quite big and i couldnt make it fit into my mouth..

so i settled for licking it laboriously, and managed to make the colours show some skin! hehe!

yeah i got sick of it and threw it away after consuming half.. :P

I felt that i must share this, Look how gorgeous the bouquet turned out!! remember the pictures i took of it blooming and healthy? Now its all dried up and brownish!! hehe!

Okay all the flowers look out of shape already but i love the overall effect.

Red-black roses! heh!

I've been down with flu the past two days, so i havent been taking pictures and stuff,

this is from monday i think!

Yes i've been wearing falsies more..

gosh i hate wearing contacts it makes my eyes suffer so much..

kay goodnight!!! I didnt do yesterday's rj, im contemplating handing it in but i find it too much of a hassle.
talk about being useless. :(
bye~!
p.s my dark eye circles are getting uncontrollable..

2011-10-19T17:16:00.003+08:00

I'll start with the first picture my camera took when I got it back.

Imma not dive into details but just be grateful its with me now. :P

school has started, I've been busy, wong is back from his trip to thailand too, so now the 'real' fun starts.. baaaah.. :(

I no longer have the mental strength to even try to listen in class, omg!

Overdue stuff below, I don't exactly remember which pictures were on which dates ,

but i"ll just include a smattering of them over the days!

Okay these i remember, they were taken on 9/10, ten days ago! :X

Yes its our one-year anni and I was working till 8.. :(

So i had to take pictures with haggard and oily face..

There wasnt time for anything much so we decided to just go have good food!

and by that i mean my favourites which is below..

This is the fifth-sixth? time i'd had these these months and i'm not sick of them at all!

In fact, im hungry again just looking.. :'(

My gorgeous bouquet of flowers, I love the pink lilies and the berry-like things! :P

The water droplets in the roses were so pretty too..♥

I demanded to know the price but wong vehemently refused..

hmph.

Okay back on track, we went to 126 in a cab to save time..

The dimsum is pricey, but some of them is absolutely delicious!!

Though until now i cannot figure out why their speciality is a tofu in salad sauce, four small fingers of fried tofu for $5! they dont taste terrific either, I guess its their way of squeezing out some more money from customers with too much curiosity.. and yes we fell for it..

The honey lemon is the best drink ever, no kidding, there's bits of jelly or something inside and you can actually taste some real honey!!

Un-shelled prawns.. :( so sad because this also cost quite alot..

The batter isnt nice at all too..

The overpriced, tiny pieces of fried tofu.. with my finger at the side for comparism.

Okay my favourties are probably the porridge and soft shell crabbbb! (of course)

I've this thing against minced meat porridge, something about soaked meat just turns me off.

And then they served this with the minced meat on top!!! cool or what! The meat is actually cooked before they cut it up to tiny bits, so even when we mixed it with the porridge it dosen't turn all gross and soggy!

Some pictures taken while we were waiting for the food to arrive~

K bye! I have to go sort my life out! Its been full of problems lately, with work on hold, a malfunctioning family and the realisation that I haven't painted my nails in months. HAHA. And yeah i gotta get all high-maintenance again because I cant stand myself looking so dull suddenly.. just look at the last picture! :(

2011-10-12T14:40:00.000+08:00

I am sick.. :'(
so many things to do at home, I've been procrastinating them since forever.
I have a very good mind to skip the next two days of school too fml!

2011-10-10T23:22:00.002+08:00

I skipped school today.. I am already dying from one day being away from wong. :'(
and today is our one year anniversary, he had to choose today to go bangkok.
I've made sure he'll pay the consequences though! muahahah..
We ate alot yesterday and saturday, pictures are with him! so i"ll be updating a week late with pictures!
buaizxc.. I'll go wallow in sadness now.

2011-10-08T00:14:00.001+08:00

Today's dinner after work : Guava with too little sour plum powder, 9 deep fried i-added-more-salt scallops, yupi iced cola gummy.
... I don't know whats gonna happen. My tummy might scream rape and I guess I am going to feel extremely compelled eat my little pillow up when I'm in bed tonight. I'm probably going wake up with a sore throat next morning from the scallops too..
Okay, I just submitted my rj!
200+ words and I hadn't gone through half of what i was gonna type.. I felt it was long enough and I didn't wanna give a fuck more so I submitted it.
Imma go bathe now! I don't know why I am even updating my blog, I just did today afternoon~
It is so pointless as you can see.
I must be thinking that I will not have time to blog at all since from this week onwards its all work and school with no full-day break inbetween! Okay I am thinking that way.
It sounds bad.. I think it should actually be okay if i don't stay up late like i always do.. I've been half-dead and complaining that I am dying or dead these few days to wong. I only just realised its because of my lack of sleep.. 5 or 6 hours everyday. okay that does not sound bad either.. gosh I'm weak. lol.
I shall go to bathe before I get slaughtered.

2011-10-07T15:33:00.003+08:00

Hi ,I Am a goLdfish wh0 likes to typE in rAndom capitaliZed worDs.
And I g0t mY caMera back alrEady I guess iTs the caUse of my sUdden fetish witH capitAls.
KthXbai.

P.S:
I am feeling confused.. my camera is back but i feel that its so alien right now. its empty and forlorn, the casing looks different too. I wonder what did they do to it..
At least i wont have to private my blog because i had sunk into depression and anyone who reads it will find it so boring and picture-less they will close it anyway.
Its now 3.29 but the third team had only ended their presentation and school ends at 3.30 and there are two more teams and its prolly gonna end very late and i have work at 5 so im prolly not gonna be able to eat before work and prolly starve till my break time where i will gorge my face full. :(

2011-10-06T01:03:00.000+08:00

Hi, I am here to blog but I dont know what to blog about.
so imma post a picture of me smiling and wearing contact lenses which are the two things that I wanna do LEAST in the whole wide world of things to do right now.
School started. I really wish i had better eyes. And more lucid a mind. And a sharper nose. I found out today that every wednesday is my e-learning module and i'll only have to show my face for 9:15-11:15 on 6 days out of 15 where the rest i'll probably spend it at home staring blankly at a wall. or ceiling. I have double vision right now im squinting at the laptop screen like a constipating squirrel and its the only way to make the letters intelligible. I promised wong i'll sleep at 12 but i'm still here now rambling about my misgivings in life. I also promised I wouldn't touch my laptop. I went to a movie today. It was quite cool but quite lame because the plot's lame but still cool. I do not think taylor launter is handsome. I want a camera. No, I want my camera back, and all the pictures of the food we last took. I am spending the free time before i reunite with my lost camera plotting the ultimate revenge upon the creature that dared lay its filthy hands on my precious life-giver and it includes all sorts of sharpened knifes and spikeballs and hammers. I am imagining a mangled body and pools of blood. I dont know what im talking about. I am going off now.

2011-10-05T01:06:00.004+08:00

I, am a sad girl. probably on the brink of losing my sanity because of darling october.

On the very first day I lost my camera, which is less than two months old, you'd know if you read my blog.

(I'll get it back no matter what, but the possibility of not doing so is hanging over my head like a huge cloud of doom and depression and I cannot get rid of it regardless of what I do.)

next, it throws another long semester of school at me which I may never emerge from alive, seriously, I havent even taken a breather and you plunge me in for another sem?!
oh, but i only have myself to blame.

and then, I realized with a sickening nauseating pang just about one hour ago that my holiday has been nothing short of pointless and horrible, what with my repetitive work and insane family, relationship dragging on the rocks and the dumb issue of cash. Not what i'd call a respectable holiday at all.

so there.

my life's currently pretty screwed. funny how things turned out this way all of a sudden. Its like four days ago i was walking in a meadow in fine weather then a dark cloud comes and sheets of rain pours over me and a lightning bolt zaps me and i have nowhere to go.

no really. damn the stupid thunderstorm.

I am in terrible need of humor right now. oh yes, but you'll still see me smiling and talking like nothing happened. :)

2011-09-30T04:11:00.003+08:00

Hiya! Imma post about the buffet I went three days ago, with Abigail and boyfriend.

I was craving for buffet I havent gone to one for weeks, so we planned to go on monday, the only off-day i have in between. :(

Okay I'll just start with the food!

This is the starter soup; buddha jump over the wall. LOL.

don't ask me about the name, but its super yummy! I used to drink like three or four of them when I go to this buffet with my family.

This one, damn nice, see the scallops!?!?! theres two-three in each tofu crust!
Wait, why did i eat one only!?

Corn soup and crab!!!!!! black pepper delicious crab. haha!

Okay these are only some of the food, others were cheese scallops and teppanyaki and etcetc.. hehe!

I love this picture, abigail camera flatters humans unlike mine wtf.

Then we were playing around they brought back some test tube shots. :P

And I was asked to try to down all of them at once! okay I really did try to stuff all of them into my mouth, a mean feat to accomplish okay!

The only reason im posting this is because abigail's camera is goddamn good, notice the fruit juice (oops!) spilling from the test tube! I want a camera like that fml.. and stop looking at my nostrils.

Stupid wong kept asking me to finish it even though it kept spilling. I cant fit five test tubes in my mouth la!!

Okay, desserts are next!

Jealouszxc!? fruits and marshmallows with chocolate fondue. :P

photography wasn't allowed outside so we couldn't take pictures of the fondue.. :(

misc partially-consumed desserts.

Green tea mochi! my favourite! :P

we packed up at 9+, we were one of the last people who left lol!

went to the stage-thingy to take pictures, wong's idea!

see the blue bag, my loots before i met up with them. I bought 8 pairs of contacts at one go lol!

Heard that! that means imma wear them already! hehe!

alrigth end! goodnight! Its so late alreadyy! :(

2011-09-29T02:54:00.001+08:00

I'm finally done with the pictueszxc.. there are actually around a hundred...

but I chose the best out of coursezxc!

Okay there's actually nothing much to say about them, so i'll just talk about the modes used and end.

And im glad to say my makeup skills are still here okay!

I haven't been putting falsies for more than a year already, y'know!

This is the normal potrait mode.. with flash, boring.. :P

Dynamic mode, makes my hair look so nice! but fake.. :S

Pure mode, a cooling filter, nothing much but the effect's so nice right!

This one makes my lip colour pop, hehe! its expressive mode, and on the downside it darkens my skin..

and lastly.. Pinhole mode! one of my favourites!

okay done. i'll post on the buffet next. HEHE, FOOD!!
p.s: i posted the pictures on fb too.. so vain ikr.

2011-09-28T03:51:00.003+08:00

Peek-a-boo!

Yes I feel like how I look upstairs.. goodnight!

2011-09-22T23:45:00.003+08:00

Oh hai!

Its another belated post! okay none of my updates are really up-to-date..

On average I take 2-3 days' time i guess..

I cant remember exactly which day was it already, but the pictures below are before going for work- as usual..

lol, i know i look retarded but i like my eyes here!!
I wanna buy contact lenses asap, so yay my pay's coming in soon!
After work- ended around 10.15 i went to Paya lebar's smelly tofu store to eat by myself.. *loner*
someone couldnt make it.. :'(

Oh these are really yummy, don't judge them by their looks hor! :9
And below.. are from the next day.. it think.. okay it was a sunday!!

My working attire's so boring right! same goes to my blog posts.. pictures, work, food, repeat. T_T

I swear when school resumes I'll be better off.. because i find it difficult to blog too.. haha! there's absolutely nothing to talk about except for these and that's because i haven't been doing anything else.

Unless you want me to talk about my love life.. HAHA NAHHH, its just as boring anyway.. :(

But its supposed to be like that right? no thunderstorms nor hurricanes. Meh.

So, going back to food, no prizes for guessing what's these!

Yes botak jones and (hooray!) stingray again!!!!

the cajun chicken is indescribable.. I'M HUNGRY AGAIN!

Boohoo... :'(

Im off to sort my pictures from the photoshoot today!~ hehe!
Finally, a piece of the old me is back! Dolly wink falsies and a pair of gorgeous (but old) contacts! :DDDDD
will update asap! :P

2011-09-18T22:39:00.000+08:00

Hola! I'm back againn!

I've been working(as usual), been given boring timings.. all 3-10!

Makes work so boring because I can't do anything before or after.. so its like the whole day's gone.. :(

Yes even the time for food is gone.. :'(

lol, finally can take pictures, so i keep spamming.

I love my nail colour!! but i just had it removed again.. :S

got to be more hardworking and maintain my nails! heh!

And my fringe too.. I let it grow undisturbed for like, two whole months?

So i decided to cut it myself!! hehe! see how long it is!?!?

I didnt dare to cut it much.. so it looked pretty much the same.. ...

Yes this is after I cut it and went out for dinner at kfc with my family!

Have la got difference right!? 1-2cm shorter..

Imma trim it again! like.. tomorrow? haha!

kthxbai.

2011-09-16T02:12:00.000+08:00

Hello! just a short and weird post before i go to sleep! :P

I've been pretty occupied these few days,

working and going out with people around me, :D
I know its not obvious but I'm using (bleah)pink blusher again! was lazy and the pink one is easier to apply..

My (boring)favourite pose!!!! LOL.

On monday, before work i met up with the bitch to have lunch.
I forced her to eat empire state because i wanted the pizza suddenly.. :P
yes SO yummeh!!!

Her meatball bolognese, haha i know whats its called nowww! (Its the same thing wong ate the last time we went.) except that she didn't touch the meatball at all.. -.-
I'm dressed like that because this is my work clothing, no I don't normally deck out in black.

After that, i went to work. during the break time I hurried to candylicious to buy my choco balls and tried the garret popcorn too! gosh so expensive, but really damn sweet!

Tsk. break time also can camwhore.

And tis' the next day.. I just realised i look cock-eyed.. LOL

I still think orange's the nicest!!

And then here's something to make you hungry before I head off! It was part of my dinner two days ago! I forgot to take picture of my chicken chop rice. tsk!

Goodnighttt!

2011-09-13T19:16:00.000+08:00

No words, just pictures.

♥

The scallop (chicken) was the best thing i'd ever tasted. :O

2011-09-07T22:37:00.000+08:00

Hello! I'm back to update before I leave the cyber world for three whole days! hehe!

I'll just talk about yesterday, I have a whole week off work so I was pretty free, I went out with wong to imm for dinner, lol!

we were supposed to meet from morning but he only managed to wake up at 3.. :/

These pictures were taken in his room while waiting for him to get ready.. tsk!

In case you were wondering why my face so shag.. I was having a bad face day,
the lack of sleep for so many days set off a ton of pimples which are still ravaging my face right now. :'(

We exited jurong east mrt from its new entrance is at its backside! haha!
And it is from there where you can access the shuttle bus to imm..
gosh the walk to the shuttle bus stop can bring you to imm itself already I swear.
And while we were waiting for the bus, i spotted this penguin-like something lurking in the field behind.
It was 8+ so pardon the murky images!

after zooming closer.. Look like some alien penguin right! haha! yes the eyes are shining because we used flash..
wong told me its from the night safari, -.-

Our dinner!! so disappointing.. because the rice looked so big on the display! :(

The chicken has shrunk considerably too..

Ciaos! have to hurry go oink!

2011-09-06T01:59:00.000+08:00

Ohayo gozaimasu! Its morning now! :(

and I said I wanted to sleep early..

okay never mind! Imma blog about yesterday's supper at newton!
or rather, show off some yummylicious pictures..

Satay, our favourite veggie, carrot cake and stingray!! omg I wanna eat the sting ray now..

Oh look what came after! Oh-jian! haha both of us love everything about it except for the oysters so i ordered a oyster-free oyster omelette! :P

This was in the evening today, I was making my cousin's 21st birthday present using these! hehe!
The result's so yummy but i think i was the only one who loved it.. :(

and lastly, pictures featuring my new hair colour! wheeeee!
its gonna drop with subsequent washes to a lighter shade of brown anyway~
But right now it isn't so bad either, right!

Anyway I cut my fringe just now so these are still behind my current hairstyle! :X
And as you can see my blusher is orange! makes me look tanner doesn't it!

Gonna oink like bunch. Goodnight!

2011-09-05T04:52:00.005+08:00

HELLOOOO!!

I've been at work these days.. and doing little inbetween.

I didn't even get to paint my nails, omg!

and is my temper getting shorter or are people getting more irritating!?

I could hardly stand the unreasonable and haughty customers today..

These pictures are from last thursday, I'd been dragging. :S

So anyway!

After work, Wong came to brought me to payar lebar's smelly tofu store for the yummy food!

The food is oily but very delicious.. :(

There's this dish, its soft shell crab with roti prata, I hesitated when ordering, because even though the ssc was pulling me I felt it might not be fresh.

But no, it wasn't bad at all! and so, I got a new favourite food!! :P

Managed to catch the last train home after, we went to eat double mcspicy at 1am because the food wasn't filling enough. though costly.. lol!

The next day, I cooked breakfast! I love my omelettes. :D bhb right.

Wong was so happy I made breakfast for him he brought me to empire state in the evening, haha!

gosh, we're all about food food food..

I tried the four-cheese penne! Its boring omg..

cheeeese! pun intended.

His beefy thing. I forgot the name, I only remember he tried to force feed me the meat. ewwww!

yes i loathe beef.

The waitress was surprised we ordered a pizza too, haha! I was deciding whether to get pizza or pork ribs and settled for the former in the end.. (no regrets! you'll know why later!)

The hastily-settled bill.. And no i didn't upchuck in my plate.

Had to rush the food in 20 mins because our final destination 5 starts at 930! :(

we 'took away' most of the pizza.. haha!

wong's useless at this kind of movies.. He hid his face behind me whenever someone was gonna die. LOL.

Jumping at every little thing, you'd think he was some little kid, tsk!

I said there was takeaway pizza from the day before right?

It served to be my breakfast before work the next day!!

I must say, Im going to go back often just for the pizza!

Its like clouds and marshmallows. HAHA. excuse my weird description!

But you can see how much I loved it judging from the way I kept taking pictures of me with it.. :X

OMG SO YUMMEH.

Some camwhoring after devouring the heavenly pizza! hehe!

I downloaded some new songs to my phone yesterday! The playlist inside is really getting ancient..

and I must mention that new songs really provided fuel for me during work, I don't know why either. LOL! okay I'm having a headache now. imma go bunk!

Goodnight!! I feel like the only one awake in the world right now.. hehe!

P.s Im totally digging blogger's new interface! gosh, so much cleaner! thank god the nasty spacing glitch is gone..

2011-08-31T23:06:00.009+08:00

Konnichiwa!

I'm back after a week,

Exams are over and its the official holidayszxcs!!

I need to do something to my fringe..

No this is not my real hair right now..

I dyed my hair to very dark brown today, horrible experience,

consisting of me getting cheated and everything. gahhh.

So, this was a few days ago,

we went to yishun for the popular nasi briyani!

Wong says it tastes ordinary but the chicken's a little special,

I wouldn't know, because that's the second time I'd ever eaten it in my life. :X

After that, we went for cowboys and aliens,

The show's boring I reckon..

For dinner we had pasta!

I forgot to take a picture, only remembered after we'd finished.

so here's the cleared plates. haha!

He was angstyyy..

But not for long! hehe!

Four days ago we celebrated my mum's birthday,

Asked him to join, hehe!

he's writing the birthday card.

They ordered pizza. Now that I think of it I didn't get to eat a single slice. :X

mum's swensons' birthday cake!!

Her opening her present like a happy kiddo, lol!

tripod came in handy, :P

Her present was a carlo rino bag and purse, but she was hoping it'd be LV.

So funny when she exclaimed 'LV AH!?' haha!

Okay end, back to food!

I cooked this yesterday night! can you see the oozy cheese!?

I actually mixed it already, so do excuse the gross appearance. :S

My hasty LJS breakfast before work on monday..

I went out a few hours early just to get the stuff I wanted to buy from etude house know!

But in the end i took so long because i got hooked on the stuffs at watsons.

will reveal my loot shortly.

Came home with these gorgeous bags full of treasures.

Aloha!

Masks!

I bought them at a major worth-it price!

Make-up!! Oh oh I'm turning so vain..

Four new additions to my already extensive collection of nail polishes. whee!

My dad asked me whether I was selling them, LOL.

Ditto for my falsies!Okay I know.. I just haven't started wearing them..

Two new canmake nude lip gloss!! I actually couldn't decide on one and decided to get both.. Gosh.

Aaaaand.. for the highlight of the day..

...

DOLLY WINK!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH!

I'd been lusting and lusting for it for ages and ages and ages..

Finally laid my hands on ya.. hohoho!

Burned quite a hole in my pocket though.. :'(

Okay, so happy girl here says goodnight!

Oyasumi!

2011-08-24T11:35:00.000+08:00

warning: this post will possibly make you become hungry after reading it~

So last friday, I had the craving to go have dinner at a the teppanyaki buffet again.

It wasn't even a week from the last time we went there,

but I didn't wanna miss the promotion they were having so I convinced wong to bring me there. hehe! and this time we were equipped with a camera!!

On the way there, while waiting for the train,

i spotted this gorgeous butterfly.

wong said its dying. :(

but its so pretty, isnt it? such a shame..

There's even fur in between its wings!!

you can see heart shapes lining the inner wing. omg.

upon reaching the place. wong proceeded to snapped a few pictures of everything.

The drinks were free-flow. I dont know why he didnt take the other two drinks, lol.

one of the appetizers was kimchi! no I don't eat them.

uncooked food galore.

They have a cooked food section too! one of the dishes was this- fried octopus.

This is a disappointment. When I opened the cover I got a wild hope that it was soft shell crab. omg! :'( but it really looks like it right!?

posing with the octopus-in-disguise. octopus lips!! :0

d'you know what's this!? ITS BACONNN! yes! a free flow of oh-so-yummy bacon!

Its this that makes me wanna go back again and again.. :(

cheese chicken! can you smell it? hehe!

I forgot what we were talking about, but i think i was yakking about something lame and he replied with the L-O-L face.

the original one's real funny i can assure you, this one looks so fake!

I shelled at least 20 prawnszxc. But they are dead yummeh!

His rather 'artistic' picture of my eye. lol!

And then on the way home(stinking strongly of bbq), we played with the camera, i still cant get the effect where the person stays in the picture but the lights move! :( boohooo..

okay thats it for now.

I am currently supposed to be studying with a UT3 due in two hour's time. :X

but i haven't so much as touched anything..

bother, i cant stand studyingggg! :(

2011-08-22T23:50:00.006+08:00

HIII! I did say that this post was gonna be a picture-ish one!

okay so above was one of the first pictures ever taken by my new baby camera!
Highlighted my shag face after work.. :S

below are the pictures I camwhored a week ago,
after the formal photoshoot and I came home drenched to the bone.
It didnt deter me from spamming photos though.. so here goes!

Horrible hairsprayed+drenched hair. Shampooed four times and it still didnt come off properly!! @%$&@#%^!!
And as you can see my makeup couldnt get any nuder.. :S

I've got seriously no complains about this camera- yet.
okay except for the humongous picture size (which could be easily rearranged),
I literally have nothing to hold against it.
It rendered me helpless when I realised I couldn't edit anything- everything i did to it made it look worse than the original instead of improving it!
like seriously!! No backlight to compensate, no need to alter any contrast or anything!
Boohoo. you know what that means?
It means that I have to get a better editing software(yes, photoshop) because theres nothing i can do with photoscape anymore!

sad face. :(
-
These were taken in the morning actually, before I went to try to get the goddamned hairspray off and then head to sentosa for a night's stay in hard rock. :P
And I am proud to proclaim that underaged me went into st james' powerhouse! wheee! :X
had an extremely uncomfortable night, puked all over the place and stuff.
but i shouldve known.. alchohol wasnt a friend of mine from the start.. :/

k bye! next one's about fooood! yayy!

2011-08-20T23:18:00.002+08:00

there work tomorrow and i havent started studying! omgz.
i reaaaaally think i'll be able to pull through so can i dont study..? :(
cant wait to get over the next week, then im a (partially)free bird!!
gonna enjoy myself at a chalet. ;)
gonna work more too I guess..
though seeing someone not doing so make me dread work so much.

I have pictures! loads of them!
i realised this camera takes horribly huge sizes of pictures..
while changing the setting would drop the quality.. wahhhh! :'(
hopefully next post i'll put pictures of the korean bbq! yayy!

2011-08-17T00:03:00.001+08:00

Stop thinking, start doing.

2011-08-15T16:04:00.003+08:00

HIIII!! I AM HERE TO ANNOUNCE THE START OF MY LIFE!!!
I GOT MY CAMERA. FYEAHH!
okay , its not as I had expected, but some research online told me its OK.
I shall settle with it, regretting will only make me have a hard time~ :(
Cammy, you better be worth the hefty price I paid to get you off your shelf!

I'm in school right now,
Fogged through today, my brain feels so cooked!
I dont think my UT3's are gonna show good resultszxc..

my falsies are dropping off..
I havent been wearing them for a long long long time,
so I forgot the knack to wearing them. :(
imma pluck it off soon i guess,
because im heading to panasonic to collect stuff for my camera, teehee!
oh no, i left the receipt at home. LOL
okay i'll decide later.

so today's the last day last lesson of this semester!
I don't feel anything, I guess its partly because I'm not emotionally attatched to anyone and that I'll most probably be seeing them next sem too. haha!
school's such a drag isnt it!
work's quite boring too.. seriously, if it werent for the kachingkaching. :'(
i got so many things i gotta do im disoriented, i think its part of growing up isnt it, fuller schedules and a lousier memory, not a nice combination. :S

Imma start posting pictures soon! And edit my template if I arent lazyyyyy...

2011-08-11T15:32:00.002+08:00

wheeeeee!
i decided on a camera!
its lumix. okay whatever.
gonna go to simlim asap.. :(
todays a thursday but im in school, because of the classes being pushed forward. boohoo.
i've been reading harry potter these days,
i finally bought the whole collection!! muahahahah.
i declare i absolutely loathe people who have not read the books but claim that they are HUGE fans! just hearing about it is so irritating, isnt it?! just because you've seen the movies dont prove nothing, because the movies are like 60% or less than the books essentially. tsk.
last week of school, finally.
today's a closure on anatomy, ewww.
so many chalets and getaways in the hols. heh.
but no relaxing until ut3's over, mine's five days in a row! omafgawd.
ok bye.

2011-08-05T09:32:00.002+08:00

Its a fridayyyy!!
i havent updated for so long! :O
Its been a pretty busy week.
Running around singapore to look at cameras.
hehe! i gave up on the luggish dslrs and decided for the bridge cameras!
narrowed it down to lumix fz40 and nikon p500,
so difficult to decide!
I went to many digital malls, sim lim's seems cheap..
Theres the expo digital sale tmr and i think i gotta go down have a look soon. hmm.
Speaking of that, i almost got cheated into buying a pentax digital camera,
the sales person's damn pushy,
i was at the point of sale before i realised i should look around more. hoho!
wong was all for getting it though. hmph.
okay, other than that, its been pendulum between nikon and lumix.
unfortunately, both arent cheap. so that served no help in my decision.
right now its at lumix, cause its made in japan. haha!
before that i was so geared up about nikon. :X
i guess i'll have to let expo decide when i go..

okay, back to my life,
yesterday was an off-day from school,
except for the extra school work i had to do due to miscommunication and some retarded rj,
i was pretty much absorbed in makeup.
yes, im working at the makeup shop, etude house.
first day! :O
the training's horrendous, because i had to remember everything about all the products at once.
:( i never knew there were so many things to be applied on your face! omg, women, why you so vain!
i gotta listen in class now, its accounting. :(
bye!

2011-07-27T17:35:00.000+08:00

Finally received my bursary,
as expected, faced with that sum of money only served to throw me in a state of total confusion.
I have utterly no idea what to do with it-
all the things i wanted and were planning suddenly became questionable.
I guess thats good in a way though..
I wouldn't be spending it all away very quickly -my mum says a month- nor worthlessly, right?
But 600's already gone, my dad's taking 500 from me and I repayed a debt of 100 to my cousin.
oh well.
I should clear my head and get a good hold on life before I touch much of the money I guess- small portions are gonna be used to sustain my meals. I can finally eat whenever, whatever, as much as I like! wheeeee!
I am not content with my allowance of twelve dollars per day. :X
seriously, at this rate im gonna finish it in less than four months. I mean it.
okay, I shall leave my head to clear right now.
I havent been a person to mess with recently, I guess im spoilt, badly.
By myself, if that is even possible.
I cant handle people, as usual, but right now I get infuriated so damn easily when my expectations are let down.
I pretty much expect things to be perfect.
No good, no good at all and i know it myself.
Wait, I am grateful for all i have and stuff, but i am always yearning for more, you know?
I am so used to being accompanied by people I can't stand being left alone.
I get so used to the present I end up not trying, just for the convienience.
okay that was out of point. But whatever.
So it boils down to the same old thing, doesnt it?
I need a goddamn direction, but I am not in any way motivated to try for it even when I get one, because I have things i wanna accomplish,
but the push for me to put in effort for it just dosent exist.
hahaha, im living such contradiction.
but i was pushed off course, wasnt i?
I used to have my own set of principles, goals,
but they're all trampled and shot down by society now.
I do not understand what do you want from me. I do not.

I cant blame anyone, I cant do anything about it,
I know i should not wallow in this well because its gonna do me no good,
I'll be forever repeating the same old things .
I thought i was through, but i am proven to be false time and again.
I recoil in fear, whenever I am faced with something foreign to what I am living with now.
I know i've said these so many times, but I dont leave my comfort zone, this well protects me from them,
Im in here, biding my time, not knowing the things I can do or not do.
Now, look what you've all done.
Can you hear me? I need to break through, now.
I need to peel off this suffocating layer of fear you've painted all over me.
-

On a brighter note,
Im in school right now.
Looking at the past,
dont get me wrong, I am grateful for the present.
Its my future im worried about, like i said. ha!
My boy is going bonkers over his assignment that's supposed to be due today,
so I promised not to disturb him at all, even though I am extremely unwilling,
we even ended up pissed at each other but okay fine Im done ranting.
I shall complete my work now, somehow i ended up here when i was actually supposed to do my school work, :X
did i mention i completely missed an individual assignment?
not knowing was bliss for me- until i found out. I feel like a moron now.
haha! okay but its already over so whatever. serve me right for not putting attention on schoolwork at all.
I guess next stop's home for me.
because i am really an anti-social - point brought across bigtime!
I really admire someone, suddenly, now that i am so far away i see.
doing and saying the right tings at the right time, with a enviable humorous and gold personality, plus an awesome fashion sense, how'd she accomplish that feat?
to think that i've been said to be a clone of her. pfft.
they say you cant please anyone, but,
i honestly dont see anyone with negative feelings towards her!
In my case it is reversely true, meaning i offend more than i please. LOL.
failure ttm right, tyvm i know it too.
okay, back to my work and then home,
bye to the dust thats reading these, because noone does!

2011-07-21T11:44:00.003+08:00

Staying at home, eating, and sleeping, then sleeping then eating and in this neverending cycle,
I realised I am so without an aim.. :(
for instance, I don't have any aspirations or whatnot,
I can't summon the strength to go for them if they appear, either.
I don't know why, but life kinda lost some meaning.
I mean, everything's going well, work, school, relationships, family.
Oh wait. My social life.
It's a complete blank, haa.
What am I waiting for?
I don't know, I simply can't bring myself to speak out or throw in some initiative to save myself.
But actually, I did bring it all on myself,
Isolating myself to one part, and when I left I left all of them at once.
Smart, arent I? Noone told me that I had to make reserves.
All I wanted was exclusivity. I guess that don't work in the world now.
sigh. How I hate society, hated, hate and always will I guess.
Its like everyone's hiding a big secret from me, kinda like fashion too..
How'd you individuals make it look so simple to you when I don't even get the gist of it?
when I go my way I get scoffed at. wtf.
But theres really nothing much I can do about it, can't I? Im living here right now, know.
But when I feel everything is going well without effort, I feel upset because I don't feel anything, but when I feel something's missing, I obviously feel upset too. I get it, im looking for a sense of accomplishment. Something I haven't gotten to savour in a long time.
Looking at my good results didnt give me no kick, because I didn't put in a trace of effort for them. But I cant get my damn butt up to work for them.
It seems I don't really get myself either.
Where's that push I need.. :/

2011-07-16T00:02:00.004+08:00

This is a utterly random blog post i decided to write
just because I have to wait ofr my hair to dry before I can sleep.
I'm tired! slept my way back home, even when standing on the train LOL
my wong is out.. :(
playing lan with his friends.. bother..
I hate games for stealing my attention away! >:/
Anyway I just ate some chicken rice that had started to turn sour.
so if wake up in the middle of the night with an upset tummy I wouldn't be surprised. :/
Today school was okay, I got a surprising surprising surprise! HAHA.
like totally, because this sem's UTs arent moderated,
so I can't fog through my test and sit by hoping everyone else did the same..
But, I scored! Except for one UT which I didn't attend..
boohoo everyone said it was easy..
okay so anyway they were saying I always skip school because I study at home.
haha! nuh, people close to me would know.
okay only one.
and that one falls asleep 5mins into me teaching him accounting.
blah.
alright, I hope Ut2 would, if possible, show better results!
I seriously doubt it though.. I've been missing loads of lessons! :S
...
I went home after going to my workplace, damnn..
forgot to bring my shoe. I know i am getting dumber.
It aint pleasing me either.
Offended my manager i guess.
made laughing stock by the staff too.
He thinks I'm gonna stop working, which is pretty true.
sigh. I like this job, but things are so awkward alr la. :/
watsted like 6 dollars on transport today.
I topped up ten bucks using stray shilling and small notes.
still, it rendered me completely broke..
thank god i got some rice getting sourer by the second at home waiting for me, Not.
And I just located the source of my pain in the throat!
Its an ulcer, a pretty big one now since it started out three days ago, nestled comfortably at the back of my throat.
Gaaaaaaah!
Its a bad sign its a bad signn! I'm dying soon of throat cancer.
ktxbai

10th

2011-07-11T09:31:00.003+08:00

July.
I'm tired and aching from the weekend I had.
work, work, then our big day!
heh.
It was a surprise definitely, the walk to mbs( i saw rosebullet! :O), then the trip to take the singapore flyer.
Before that was the search for ssc that brought us to sakae sushi.. :/
I'm so spoilt by him I get pissed so easily! But the wongwong song is my remedy, haha!
i think what my fortune teller told me was true, that i put people up on a pedestal and never expect them to step down, else i'll be greatly disappointed.
Tsk. I should work on it i know! The people closest to me get my lash the hardest,
wong being the most pitiful. :(
so i've decided to change! no matter what, hah!
and speaking of changing, my hairstyle and makeup need to change, big time!
School sucks today, cause I feel so tired and brain deadd..
theres ktv later on and a sneak dinner to malaysia, :P
I got a feeling imma partial. hoho!

2011-07-09T02:29:00.002+08:00

Today, is one of the worst days of my life.
I officially turned stupid.
I am horrified at the things i did today.
The clumsiness and the dumb retarded mistakes.
I am exhausted, not so physically but in my mind.
this is fucking weird.
Im dying knowing im turning stupid.
fml. save me.

2011-07-04T22:58:00.002+08:00

Will revamp this thing and start blogging more once I get my camera!
I am determined to get a slr at least, aaaand start dolling up! hee.
Life's too short for me to wallow in whatever sorrows.
I've got the world to account to now!
I will not allow myself to let go of anything I have now.
I'll cherish it more everyday yoh.
:)
i started working btw! not very good pay, but whatever!

2011-06-27T12:08:00.002+08:00

I'm utterly exhausted for an unknown reason.
It can't be work, can it?
I guess its my menses, like losing too much blood make me weaker.
not to mention the emotional roller coaster i'd been on these few days certainly complemented it well. not.

so im home now, desperately trying not to sleep though im already delirious.
Okay that did it. I now know the reason for my tiredness, haha!
well, things have been going a little downhill these few days, but i think its me again.
I honestly do agree that girls are really untolerable. sorry! but its true so whatever.
I keep thinking about how boring i am all of a sudden,
no, really, the way i drone and how quiet/shy/retarded i am, totally a douchbag.
lol wtf.

I dont get why my tweets didnt go through. should i type it out or wait?
im afraid it'll go through then i'll have like three repeated tweets, not very nice.
considering the fact that they are the things that have been running through my mind and i was trying to make a enlightening statement on them.

bunch is in school.. :(
i hoped he'd accompany me but he need to study.
Java must be really hard..
but i still wish i had my shoulder..
:((

2011-06-22T09:56:00.002+08:00

You tell me, how cute can my honeybunch get?
We had mac bigbreakfast yesterday and today he bought a egg and ham muffin breakfast for me!
other than forgetting about the milo, which he wouldnt have realised if i didnt ask,
he told me he ordered ham because i didnt eat beef.
PUNCH YOU AH! I was eating the same thing yesterday! bakawong!
LOL awwwwww, sho cutesczx.
okie. im in class now. faci's going through the answers, so far i got so many damn correct LOL.
im not even listening la, but i know it. ;)
Im currently looking at contact lenses!
i wanna buy a pair or two to wear to school..
its gonna be hard on my eyes but i think i should wear leh,
same goes for falsies, i wanna wear! i finally found my no.7, which i thought was only available in malaysia. but its like almost two times more expensive here at bugis.... should i buy?
ww's telling me i shouldnt change, hes fine with me like this, heh!
alright, i shall simply buy a few of each and wear it occasionally i guess! :P
until i get my camera, hohoho.
alright, buais

2011-06-21T10:14:00.001+08:00

Imma bomb now.

not the good one. :(

2011-06-13T02:45:00.004+08:00

Its the end of the holidays!!
No that isnt a happy exclamation.
i went to malaysia for two and a half days,
bought a few clothes, mummy spent 800+ dollars on me and fiona, gosh!
the clothes arent bad but they're typically the bugis type,
anyway they're pretty cheap so im not complaining.
Today's sunday, and i feel like extending my holiday to monday! hoho!
which i think i will, but i feel bad for making wong accompany me..
his lesson's important!.. :( actually mine's too, but i couldnt care less! mwahahahaahahh!
so..
heres a picture of the clothes

and heres a pretty picture of me, or picture of pretty me! ;)
dont complain, its the only picture i have la!

2011-06-06T19:03:00.002+08:00

Some pictures on my phone I had to share!

I miss babyyyyyy! :(((
i will stay loyal! >:/

27th may, bunch bought me (wrongly) gummy marshmallows!!
awwwwy, its yummier than what I was craving for so I forgave mr bunchy!!
heh!

2011-06-06T15:54:00.002+08:00

Im twirling whirling in a vortex of things to do,
its the holidays! *jumps around*
though its quite short, I'm fully utilising my time. :)
cleaning hammie's cage, vacuuming the house, packing my room, editing then uploading my pictures, etcetc! I don't even have time to play my games! haha!
then there's lunch at love's house tomorrow! wheeeeee!
he told me there's a doggy! i bet its not as cute as Baby the dog. :(((((
bleah.
but out of all these, I haven't got a worry at all.
so happy and contented that my heart is bursting,
I understand I'm in a state many would wish for,
so, I'm definitely not taking this for granted!

okay, I just wanted to get this out, so I can let yall know and remind myself in the future I was this carefree and daydreamy or whatever. gotta get going! ciaos!

2011-06-01T22:32:00.002+08:00

IT IS THE START OF THE HOLIDAYSZCXSCZX!!!!!!
YEEEEHA!
Its exhilarating simply thinking about whats in store for me in the holsssss!!
First up is my mini honeymoon. heh!
and now that im done with my rj, school assignments and whatnot,
Im freeee!
time to scream and shout and run about!
hoho, im kidding.
tomorrow will be hard on bunch.. :(
and the juniors will be like ?????
haha! but, ohwell.
they'll know us (infamously) sooner or later!!
shall not care, since they're so realistic. :/
i think bunch fell asleep on the lappy! awwwwwww!!!

resolution for revolution.

2011-05-28T14:05:00.005+08:00

Im eating marshmallowsss!!!
bought a real packet at ntuc today! bunch bought the wrong one, but im loving that one more!!
awwww, heh, mine!
I've been going home very late lately, but its not because i've been working or whatsoever,
procastinating too much lately, i know!
got so much work to do..
but it actually can be handled.. if it werent for my laziness.. $#&%
-
I'm suddenly so inspired.
I have so many things in mind, i cant stop thinking!
I wanna say everything, but i just cant.
I wanna let everyone you what im thinking always, what im doing.
Iwanna know everything, i wanna do everything,
I wanna see the world, people, places, food, dances, art. everything!
all i'll need is time and money, haha!
thats what everyone wants. :P
I've got love, I'm content, really.
Now im on my way, this journey gonna start now,
because my life is back on track.
but one thing.. imma sloth. :(
i have a bunch of things to do but im so lazy to do them, the most important thing is finding a job, i cant do it too! hahaha! okayokay. gosh im exploding from sitting around..
i think my mind's running wild again.
-
for the past hour i've been surfing wiki. LOL.
reading up from the the reasons for colour of urine can go to supermassive black holes and churning cauldron in yellowstone national park to vocaloids, interesting hohoho.
look, there's so much in this world for us to know, and much much more yet to find out,
i wanna live forever!! :(

2011-05-25T14:51:00.000+08:00

Hunneh bunch! ♥

2011-05-22T01:31:00.002+08:00

Sorting out my life,
got so many things to dooo!
I'm gonna live as much as i can, :)
havent found a job, gosh!
and i need to make a wishlist,
okay i bet i'll never do so, im so lazy..
and i need clothesss! thats for sure.
Gonna open my blog soon.
i wont hang my dirty linen in public, dont worry,
it'll all be in the other blog, kay?
it's not as if i dont update that much either. :/
its just that theres only permission to one person mwahahaha.
ohno.. my throat's starting to hurt.
need to sleep early! :(
Gonna go soon i guess. heh.

2011-05-14T01:32:00.005+08:00

I need to:
sort my thoughts and get a direction,
organize and chuck my possessions(clothes in the wardrobe),
get a part-time job that has a fairly good pay,
stop being a hypersensitive whim,
buy more clothes and shoes that wont throw every single face in the world away,
buy accessories,
create a wishlist,
buy falsies and contacts,
start drawing, start reading, start singing, start exercising, start making nail art,
buy the $9 popteen magazine,
buy a dslr camera,
dye my hair,
resolve not to hurt myself no matter what,
go back to sentosa and pulau ubin for a getaway,
go out with girlfriends,
update my playlist,
start taking pictures and be a goddamned normal girl,
get some fashion sense,
be fairer,
get rid of my dark eye circles (impossible),
stop stalking my boyfriend lest he find me an annoying pest,
earn 1,000,000 by year 2060.

random. ;)

2011-05-11T00:35:00.002+08:00

Hello!
Today's 10th of may! well officially 11th since over midnight but whatever.
i think mine has fallen asleep.
he didnt reply me after i came out of the bathroom. hehe!
my grade is gonna suck today! boohoo. didnt even bother to do anything at all.
-
we went to watch 'a chinese ghost story'! not a really bad show, but i kept getting disturbed.
hahahah! we walked around, went to his house after that, hehe.
so awkward, that incident with your mum!! :S
okay, i guess its partially my fault. hehehe!
i just ate a slice of swenson's ice cream cake! gonna sleep soon, there's school tomorrow.
okay so heres what i wanna say.
Me am sorry me forgot about the date!! wasn't paying attention to it!
but you know i got no love lost to you because of my constant stalking and whatnot right!
unlike someone, claims to have grown comfortable. hmpf!
still wouldnt admit the date slipped his mind too, when i have such proof!!
but i feel bad it slipped mine nonetheless. :(
mwah!
i still remember you texted me two days after we got together, telling me i've belonged to you for 48 hours already. awwww.
now im gonna tell you, you belonged to ME for seven freaking months and i am still crazy over you! i want a piece of my sweet wong back!
heh, okay thats all, hair's almost dry, gotta go off! :)

2011-05-09T22:00:00.004+08:00

me, lena.
absolutely smitten, bessoted by you.
i can't take a ray of light missing.
you know?
cause this cutie's mine, this disgusting fart, this loud boy, this huggable worm, everything!
-
Right now i'm blogging cause my neopet's 'insects' as he calls them are helping me earn money!
so im bored bored bored.
hehehe. wong's sleeping since 945 after a tired day for him, gymming and messing around, (so adorable when he's tired omg.)
i promised i'll sleep at 1030! :p
look what mummy just got!
:0

made us laugh because when she won in the end we expected 30+ thousand of winnings, but she's currently broke and playing at a low level so it was only 1400+ ,hahahahah!
sis's eating swenson's icecream cake. im waiting for my cousin's pizza!
she's gonna make my whole family so fat i swear.
she bring food almost everynight back for us.
on the menu tonight is microwaved pizza! goshhh.
speaking of fat, my current weight is 41.3!! wowww. my muscles slimmed already i guess. LOL.
went to gym today~ everything deproved! hahaha!
but i see no point in keeping it up, maybe just for the sake of staying healthy. ;)
but i want abs! will train for it!
okay.. nothing else!
think i cant sleep at 1030. sorry wong!
:P sleep tight mine.

2011-05-07T22:56:00.002+08:00

So close huh.
if you wanna call whoever girl don't call me that at all.
i dont matter then.
pretty right?
interested huh?

2011-05-01T21:56:00.005+08:00

What am i proving?
that im not going to lose.
that i havent lost my principles.
that i am unique, i will not condone plagiarism from anyone around.
that i will do everything with all my heart.
that i am intelligent.
that i am strong.
that i am not goddamn weak.
that i am pretty.
that i wanna do anything i want.
that i wont regret and will never look back.
that i will not lose myself.
that i arent afraid.
so many things,
which one is still standing intact now..?
not a single fucking one.

2011-05-01T20:23:00.003+08:00

Urgh.
i shant rant about my fucked up family.
i'm sick of complaining already.
I just wish i was as cold hearted.
sigh.
did my hair today, gonna dye it two weeks later i guess.
I cant wash it till wednesday! eeek.
gonna be itchyyyy! if i sweat, that is. :X
its my first step. hooray! :)
next up would be to find a good source of income and some crazy shopping.
i'll be morphing to fit in- i think whatever's on the inside isnt important afterall.
but dont be alarmed if you cant recognise me no longer, cause i cant either.
But saying all these.. maybe its just that im unwilling to let go.

♥

2011-04-30T00:55:00.001+08:00

Sleep tight, love.
you're all i got. :)

2011-04-25T11:42:00.003+08:00

Hi loves!
Im still behind a glass i wonder why.
I still can study,
still can function normally and whatever, but its just that my senses are oh so dimmed!
What, should i blame my throat?
or its just my stupid head thats numb from always thinking too much.. hahaha!

Your face dosent even look the same no more, it scared me, for awhile,
but i can get used to this..
I guess i left myself behind. Thats my stupid explanation for all these.
whatever i decisions i make now, i'll ask myself; is this what i would have wanted myself to do a few months ago? a year ago?

Well, school today,
working quite well with friends! though somewhat forcibly.
Went out with branca yesterday, those used-to-bes came back to me in a rush.
I'm glad i still have a friend who'll always be here.
So im getting used to putting space like i once forced myself to.
heh. =]

2011-04-21T00:10:00.000+08:00

i still cannot.
my walls are utterly broken down.
but i have nothing else.
you've got me nicely cornered. :)

but maybe i've only got myself to blame.

2011-04-18T22:39:00.003+08:00

im gonna change.
setting new resolutions.
i wont be such a whore and a fucking draggy douchbag no more.
watch out for me, world,
for im taking you head on.
im tired of the bitter taste of losing.

2011-04-04T00:49:00.011+08:00

hihihi!
the ordeal seems to be over in a blink of an eye,
but the tears and sweat and blood that were shed i'll never forget.
i've learnt alot this past month. patience especially.
i cant say i havent changed,
but for better or for worse im afraid to say.
they've been to taiwan for five days already. coming back in four days' time!
and then everything'll end with one final rip.
sorry imma fussy hussy, cause i seriously get affected by my emotions and thoughts way too much.
=[ dinner was like a buffet tonight, filling ttm!
hahaha, with green tea flavoured tangyuan somemore!
i got my sense of taste and smell back! =]
gotta take care of my throat to stop this from happening again. :X
but.. sigh! kfc and biscuits are always so tempting!!!
well,
imma sleep soon,
ciaos!

2011-02-22T23:51:00.002+08:00

Truth's out. uh-oh.
guess we arent gonna come out of the matter smelling like a rose no more..
sigh.. a month is enough time to kill you, dyou know?
but thing's have gotten so irreversible.

2011-02-11T09:42:00.002+08:00

Im in school today for the last day of this sem. whew.
seemed to me it would never end, but all of a sudden it did.
didnt come for two/five days though..
attendance gonna stink.
grades are already down the drain too.
though my ut grades are reasonably fantastic,
im not confident of getting a gpa higher than two point smething.(2.1? 2.2?)
not to mention wong's (whos sleeping right now-you poor boy. =[ ) are worse than me, i think he might be lucky to even hit 2.0 at all.
and then thing are gonna get shitty cause rexaz is gonna hound us.
hai, we'll cross the bridge when we reach it i guess.
poor faci got bullied into setting all of us present for today. i reached school at 905 eh LOL.
had my eggy toast from breadtalk! i feel a cough on its way..
wong's already down since yesterday =/
hehe, and tired of course. ;)
though the root of it was from rexaz, cause we had launches la.
but even after three days its still hurting, right now it aint so bad anymore.
mmmm, i wanna look for my games!
i wonder how to download games illegally from the internet.
im literally lusting for the war game i played when i was in sec two.
heh, and the god game called black and white. bet wong'll like that one hes so mischevious.
okay, nothing to post, bye!

2011-02-07T23:03:00.002+08:00

Edited soo much of my painstakingly edited template to make it wong-friendly..
Someone better be grateful! >:/
hehe! love you! i mean it!
=P

2011-02-07T19:25:00.019+08:00

I skipped training today!
yet again..
well, i dont feel bad or anything cause i don't care, heh.
i just hope that its all over with soon, cause there's something so difficult looming up ahead.

Anyway, i started this post intending to update about this sudden change in my life,
as you'll see, i commented on my two 'stepbrothers' facebook profiles.
i'll tell you why in a sec.

My mum just came back half an hour ago, and when she got over the usual shock that i'm home at this timing, she came over to me and asked me to go talk to my two brothers on fb and wish them a happy new year.
I asked why, of course, then she told me that she finally met them!
I was quite shocked as these people, though close in blood relation, were never in my life ,so it took me awhile to absorb all that information that mummy started piling on me.
Stuff like telling me to view the photos taken with them and telling me how handsome they were in life and that they both had girlfriends already. Well, i also have a boyfriend. ;)

Oh! And do you know why my mum didn't come back yesterday like she planned to?
She was waiting for the elder brother (remy).
She said that he was reluctant to meet her cause he still had memory of her leaving-he was three and the younger one was 6 months when she left them. well not exactly left, forced to leave. =/

i asked my mum why did they suddenly come and find us? (they both brought their girlfriends when they came, btw.)
she told me my cousin callo and the younger one (kenny) were on talking terms ever since she added him on fb, so that day my mum and my aunt was near her when they were talking on msn and my aunt just asked my cousin to just bomb him,telling him she's his cousin. hahahah!
gosh, so dramatic i know! for the guy, i mean.
so he asked and asked for more and without any hesitation wanted to come meet all of us! especially my mum la duh.
so he came to my aunt's house the next day and well it was sniffsniff hughug reunion and stuffs i expect.

he gave excuses at first, for the elder brother, saying he was busy and etc, but it was actually because the elder one did not want to come.
but on the day my mum was supposed to come back which was yesterday, he was finally convinced by everyone to come and pay us a visit. and well of course he dragged his girlfriend along, (my mum tells me shes very small in size and quite skinny, that i dont believe- see for yourself! his expression makes him look kinda like you ohmygod wong.)
The younger one came on the second day too, the girlfriend tagged along for both days. hahaha!

You know what!? both of them have cars! one each lol! okay maybe they're mad rich whatever. heres the dad, my dad keeps saying he'll most probably be killed by a bullet.Cause hes the type that carries a gun around, you know those bad guys you see in the movies? yeah, his job is somewhere there too, he got into trouble with the police a few timesalready. My bro told my mum that the security around the dad's house is more tight than that of a bank's, more security cameras and etc. even the rooms need passwords to enter. LOL! well look at the face, whatdya expect, he already looks like some hei she hui lao da. =S

My mum keep on repeating that its been 12 years since she last saw my brothers,exactly how long does that feel i cant fanthom.
I'm providing eveything down to the exact detail, hehe.=X but thats cause i dont want you to miss anything!

Okay..So after telling me all these my mum did four other things;
1) Went to her bag and brought out a kfc zinger she bought in malaysia. (i guessed so at first but it was a correct guess cause i asked la!) so my dinner is a zinger burger. hehe.
I just finished eating it, there's cheese in it you know!! The taste of the chicken is different too.. abit more peanuty.. lucky i still love singapore's one more! =P

2) Asked me to talk to my bros often and meet them soon, and update her regularly about what they say (everytime they reply -.- ). they're working in malacca currently. Oh and they cant read nor speak chinese to save their lives, malay and english works for them only. haha! mum says they studied in english schools. when she said that i was imagining my cousin talking to the younger one, cause she 'tweets' in msn and her eng is quite bad. Must've been quite funny. =X

3) Asked me to hurry finish my dad's stuff i'd been procastinating since last week cause my dad got all hot and bothered at me about it just now. urghhh. so i chiong-ed and wasted half an hour on that and came back to finish my post.

4) This conversation's contents: She said for the new year she went back there and spent most of the time to help scrub the floor, poor aunt, there was a flood in malacca.. again. =/ but this time round its not that bad, the previous one submerged half the house! i still remember i lost alot of things there, ={ some precious stickers and stuffs.. but my holiday homework i did not miss! hehe!
so the topic was on the new year, so my dad told my mum for chu yi and chu er i was at home throughout. my mum didnt believe!! hahahah! i guessed she thought my dad was out and i lied saying i was at home or something, so i said he was at home throughout too, but he kinda blew it for me by saying he slept throughout. -.-
oh, and my mum asked about me going to my uncle's side for new year and whether there are ang paos, so i said 'yes but im keeping them all!' she didnt say anything except for 'grow up liao..'
(oh! she did ask about who gave angpaos and the amounts in it, i said three people, twenty dollars, ten dollars, and two dollars, then my uncle who owns the house didnt give but i thought he did, she was surprised when i told her the amount cause he normally gives at least 28.. TWENTY FREAKING EIGHT!... i can hardly contain myself..)
okay back.

i think she didnt know i took for my bro and sis too eh, everything amounts to around 120 only though, should i keep it all for myself or give it to mummy huh huh huh!! hehe!
so bad i know, but i'll take it as my pay to go through the ordeal of having to face the relatives alone, hee. though it wasnt bad at all la..filled my stomach to the brim, even got free new year tarts, a big bag of hershley's chocolates, loadsa yummy nuts and popcorn etc. which quite a portion are already in my tummy.. muahahah.

okay, then she asked whether i went your house to bai nian not, i said i did and she asked me how much was the ang pao, haha! i told her ten dollars, and that i already used it to top-up my ez-link card already.. =X wednesday's your turn to come i dont care! i just told mum that wednesday you might be coming already! MUAHAHAHAH. Then i'll force you to have family dinner with us.. MUAHAHAHAHH!!

After saying so much, i got reminded about my birth, do you know i attended my parents' wedding? and that i was around three at that time?
i darent ask much. heh. but what a muddle, cause i might not be this dad's biological daughter. or whatever. i had gone through it without results last year already, but im reminded of it again. lol.
that dad didnt let my mum see her sons even when she tried to snatch them back by force, that dad didnt like daughters too.. lol. theres more but i dont feel like elaborating.. well, you get the gist of it.
what a drag.
im talking to the younger one on fb now, seems friendly enough, =P
wong's cute jealous streak is showing. heheh! soooo cuuteeee.
okay wow, what a long post..
i think most of it is pretty confusing, but i hope you get all of it!
i spent almost three hours on this horh!!
come to think of it, my life's quite the drama horh.
what with my lovelife and family. i have no friends though.. well well. goodnight!
i hope you dont get sore eyes from reading all these! =P
mwah!

2011-02-03T12:21:00.003+08:00

Made a change to my layout. removed the music. hehe!
just realised how distracting and unecessary it was,
as it would always have a lag time to start playing, you might just be halfway through a post when it starts playing then you'll not understand the content for a moment cause you got distrscted.
Well but thats what happened to me, i don't know about you.
-
Sore throat's badddddd.
told you there really is something wrong with my throat!
urghhhh.
my runny nose is kinda constant too..
did i get that from wong?
hahaha.
Heres a photo of your hair a two days ago. ohno! i forgot to take an 'after' picture.

Now i kinda miss your old hair.

cause your new one sucks like mad. i swear!

talking about hair,

i know i shouwed wong before, but look at this!!

so lovely aint it!

i wish i had this colour.. though i expect it'll fade like any red.

cause its dyed dyed dyeddd!

this is a real redhead i guess.

hmph.

angmohs are unfair.

they have beautiful eyes and sharp noses and gorgeous lips and cute freckles (mine looks like mould.) and their hair colour is anything but plain old black. well most of them.

then in addition to that they just had to be living in seasonal countries and most are rich and have fun like we people in singapore would never experience.

oh fine but no point complaining right? =S

my runny nose is getting worse.. eeek.

i slept at almost four yesterday and wong slept at almost three, but hes still asleep right now the pig.

i've been awake for more than an hour already!

speaking of that, time passes real slow when you're at home.

i'd seriously forgotten all my hobbies and thing i would do at home in the past.

i cant seem to find anything to do now!!

im not even hungry yet too..

yesterday i ate so much my tummy almost burst.

sukiyaki went overboard, cause 12/15 of the food on the table was raw..

i remember i was forced to try the pig's kidney and my tummy hasnt been feeling good ever since.

maybe i think too much.

i kinda regret eating the chocolates yesterday, but they were flown in and the packaging attracted me!

so i tried it and another and another and another.

okay that's around four. yeah.

={ im killing my throat.

im kinda afraid eh, this time my throat has been bad for a week already..

if it gets to my lungs i'll die.

tsk. i used not to care but i have the world to account to now.

such a burden..

heheheh KIDDING!

mwah. mwahmwah mwah.

heh.

he asked me yesterday to go meet him today after he goes to visit his relative.

He tried asking me to go to visit with him, siao!

got money take i also dont want la~!

i feel like waking you up now.. i wanna hear your morning voice. hehe!

okay this post is getting quite long and its actually pointless so i'll end it right here as my eyes are starting to make things double. bye!

2011-01-29T18:55:00.006+08:00

YOU WENT AND DID IT.
you went to tell sy you big baka.
im starting to get suspicious of long alr..
maybe she's the one who told sy..
wellwell. whatever.
im having this weird feeling in my chest like i just swallowed a spoonful of rice down my windpipe and its clogging my lungs. ughhh.
then im getting all woried that its a harbinger that sth happened to you wong. LOL.
heres someting i wanted to add since.. well, the day we went.
i still remember last sunday with its perfect weather, waves, and the beads rolling around on the floor. I havent fixed your bracelet, btw.
You mr barbarian, you managed to spoil it on the first day you wear it, as expected.
23/01/2011
i snapped a picture of the singapore flyer, you told me my photo-taking skills sucks, then you tried taking a few squatting down and trying to get the perfect angle, but in the end you failed so miserably. hahahah! in the end you just had to admit my skill's so better! =P

we walked from kallang mrt to your db place, so many filipinos on the whole way,
but well, the river and the route was so nice.
i couldnt believe why there was hardly a person in sight remember?
we saw animals- a pelican, a hawk/eagle, a little bird with the cute wagging tail!
we walked, all the way to the singapore flyer, there was a flea market going on but oh too bad i didn't have the money to buy anything..
i swear im gonna work and get clothes for myself.
I've been so deprived, to the extent im wearing my secondary two clothes! *horror*
well, after that,
everything ended abruptly when we spotted the bus back to woodlands and ran for it.
after we boarded, we had no idea we were in for a freaking 1 hour 45 mins ride back.
we passed more than half of singapore i think.
haha, then comes the funny part!
you fell asleep on my shoulder,
and progressively this was what happened:

BUG BUG BUG!!

ever seen a GOLDFISH!
hmph, who asked you, you always said i show my bug tooth when i sleep.
look whos the bug! big fat bug!
hahaha! okay my eyes are so irritating..
whoohoo! my plants vs zombies have 224,000 already!
pro much! :P
random, hee.
-
dont hate me! =[ whats down there aint anything good.
im gonna talk about them.

well, i really hoped she would go. but i guess you were right, it had only the 5% chance.
urgh, i'll have to do it myself then..
well, yesterday she came back,
gave a long talk which my legs went numb,
oh! anyway i found a way to sit that you wont get numb eh!LOL.
you have to sit up really straight on the part where your butt has the most flesh, i did that when the two captains were speaking and you were away getting grilled for nothing- and the blood flowed into my numb legs as if i stood up eh!
okay sidetraked.
back to the point, yesterday was like a torture like no other,
i was feeling so freaking cold and they made us sit there, letting our legs get numb, tryna make us guilty and sad till they were satisfied then let her reveal that She was coming back.
well, she didnt announce, but the way she spoke to us was as if nothing happened,
She bragged a little about herself and sidetracked alot as usual, trying to warm us up again in the process. Well there was something new, the way She criticized her best friend's behaviour and dressing made me cringe all the way. i see no reason for the way the rest of them laughed at what she threw at her once best bud. even president and the seniors. gosh.
maybe i havent seen enough of this world.
some parts made sense, the sowing seed part or whatever, but i guess whatever she said didnt and never would apply to me no more.
I hated the part when i asked crestlyn whether She wasnt coming back, she's honestly the actor, managing not only to pull a straight face but lie through her teeth, i actually believed her. well false hope.
but the moment she told me, tears came into my eyes, i didnt know why.
i just cried and i didnt understand why. Half of me still couldn't let go, it seems.
but what a show, seriously.
come to think of it, sheena didnt even change into training attire, she knew She was coming back wasn't she?
i think i was the only one who saw how they tried to make us feel as bad as possible, cause for the talk that the captains had with us, the seniors were smiling when they walked back, but when they gathered all of us they changed totally, started scolding us, crying in front of us, forcing each and every single one of us to speak in turn, trice, for that matter.
crying, seriously.
and her dramatic exit on wednesday was one i'd never forget.
how many people honestly thought She would go i wonder?
liyana was the only one who texted her.
the rest didnt cause everyone were discussing whether to or not.
so being afraid of our ringmaster's a big deal?
im sorry, but i had to remember that liyana was the one coach talked out of quitting,
i cant help but remember how she laughed at me whenever sy throws a snipe at me too..
how heartless are we then?
This whole incident had the opposite effect on me to that they wished on everyone, unfortunately.
Am i supposed to be really sorry that i took Her for granted? work harder? get all fake on the mats and behave the way everyone is expected to? I guess everyone might feel that way. Even grace. But not for me.
Cemented my previously shaky resolution into place it did. i guess i wont have any regrets, only maybe for the sport itself. Yes i do love cheer. But everything else is completely uneccessary, honestly.
i feel as if im in this circus where everyone is willing to play along.
and the ringmasters just whipping and playing with everyone's feelings.
maybe i got the lessons that were supposed to be learnt faster than anyone else,
yes, cheer does teach you and shape your character whatever they say.
in ways that they didnt imagine, only so.
well, for the most part, i feel so cheated, haha sounds so childish but yes, i feel so ripped of my feelings until i've started hating.
we're humans too, thank you.
I feel like im such a nag now.
maybe a little spiteful too. oh well. :(
okay, end.

2011-01-27T20:02:00.001+08:00

oh no.. i think im sick..
shall sleep early tonight.
ugh, thanks to kfc.
but i still love it nevertheless. hahahah!
see, if you're killing me, i'll still love you.
=P

2011-01-24T12:42:00.002+08:00

there- this' the weird and funny pose i keep using. haahahah!

black hair suddenly lookes so weird! hahahah!

and yahui will go bonkers if she saw the photo.

hehehe! =X

i just ate pao.

now my team dont know what they wanna do for ppt and i cant help.

normally they depend on me..

i feel so tired and hard to breathe suddenly.

tsk. cannot be the lack of sleep what..

2011-01-24T11:05:00.005+08:00

Im so sleepy all of a sudden.

eyes tired and dry, blinking like mad. ={

hahaha, i think im quite a genius.

faci's talking and i can amswer her correctly while im playing plants vs zombies.

plus i came so late and i did a ws question involving calculations, i got all of them right without using a calculator or doing research whatsoever. hehehe. i know im a show-off la!

now im sorting pictures, i think i transferred almost 3gb worth of pictures from my desktop to my lappy.

pictures like these:

someone wanted to know what i would look like with straight hair right?

well, heres a few relatively straight ones. hehehe.

toldya i'd look good. but these are with make-up la duh.

i feel like buying photoshop. can edit pictures, cause thats what all camwhoring female bloggers do. LOL.

Wong's crazy.

i just ate and he wants me to go out to eat with him again.

mr barbarian.

2011-01-23T02:06:00.004+08:00

listening to this song right now, LOL. the lyrics just caught my attention. well!
taylor swift; the story of us
'im dying to know,
is it killing you,
like its killing me?
i dont know what to say,
since a twist of fate,
when it all broke down,
and the story of us looks alot like a tragedy now.'

-
what should i do?
we're in a pretty sticky mess. heh.
went for dinner at wong's house.
whole family was present but the awkwardness was tolerable this time.
sigh, he just wont quit putting me through it..
but tomorrow he still managed to squirm out of coming over.
stupid worm.
well.
recently, these few days in particular,
i feel i lost life's purpose somehow.
but yes i am still trapped like a rabbit in a bear trap.
i dont know what to do. its the same question over again.
i tried telling you how it feels, but they wont come out exactly the way i want it to.
im having very bad double vision now.
LOL, goodnight.

2011-01-20T13:32:00.003+08:00

Guess what this is?

This was last night's moon.
kinda like a midnight sun, right?
if you narrow your your eyes and open it you can see the light ray as if its really from the moon. heh.
but actually its from the computer la, just saying.
random, heh.

2011-01-20T10:49:00.003+08:00

hee.
im back!
i realised my desktop has alot of photos,
all almost one year already!
well, i'll wait till i have time and start sorting them.
time's flying so fast nowadays anyway..
but surely there're some gems in them. heheheeh.

im in class again! am i marked late? i came at 838..
alright i shall check now.
oh! hahaha im not!
okay this is retarded.

today,i ate macdonalds! breakfast deluxe! the money didnt come by any gracious means though.
money is slipping away like water manszxc.
i wanna save but i seem to be tapping away slowly but surely from the 100 dollars im supposed to save up to return to chris.
thank god i dont have to save from zero. you know what that means. =S
but from the way things are going nowadays i wont be surprised if i have to really use it sometime soon, heard me!? >:/

i need pictures.. my posts are so boring and sleepy.
yawn.
but i dont take pictures no more. no life right! too many pictures also no life. hahah make up your mind!
im eating the maple syrup from the knife.. so sweet but i cant stop. hee.
and look im so bored im gonna start playing neopets anytime.
at least i get to earn and spend on something.. virtual or not.

well.
i've been talking to long about stuffs.. im taking a risk but well im still spilling to her,
she seems to feel the same way (well almost) as i do.

i've been thinking about my future since yesterday.
i just realised that this path i've been treading upon is gonna make me wind up as a spa lady or something along those lines. gratifying eh? i think not.
i dont know what am i gonna do still.
it seems that i've forgotten and lost all my principles i've taken so long to create, to uphold, and i would be disappointed with myself if i remembered them, too bad i do not.
its been this way ever since you stepped into my life.
now everything zeros down upon to you and all i know is you. is that a good thing?
i still feel unstable sometimes, but thats not because of you.Its my stupid self, these doubts and fears. but i swear i will really die if my world moves. Look at how i can't stand it already if there were merely a minor shower of rain.
hehe, you just called me.
so cute your wei. heh. bye!